Shut Up, Dude

Congratulations, dear friends, on another week well done! And I mean that for most of you, primarily excepting those of you in the Russian government. You guys need to cool it with your insatiable thirst for mind control and fear of young females with opinions! Obviously the Pussy Riot situation is beyond abominable and a tragic geopolitical note to ring us into the weekend, but you can register some support via Amnesty International, and you can ease your mind by engaging in the sort of diversionary pastimes that give all of our lives comfort and meaning. Like, Stereogum posts! This was a good week for them. Did you hear the new Mount Eerie song, which is great? Did you catch Grizzly Bear and Santigold on Colbert? Did you hear the Dismemberment Plan’s new (new!) songs? These links do not a free Pussy Riot make, but they can be moments of reprieve for our bruised collective cultural conscience, and silent demonstrations of our solidarity with the forces of GOOD that operate in this world. STAND UP (i.e. sit down and click). Also a force of good, hopefully: Animal Collective’s new album, which will stream in its entirety on Sunday night. Come back around then and we’ll have a comment party.

Now check out all the great and terrible things you posted this week!

THIS WEEK’S 10 HIGHEST RATED COMMENTS

#10 

Brad Gardner | Aug 10th Score:19

That is completely awful

Posted in: Muse Go Dubstep
#9 

Corey Minagh | Aug 16th Score:20

Is this an NME list?

Posted in: Wilco’s 10 Best Songs
#8  thefiddleisridiculous | Aug 15th Score:22

I’m going to get her a microphone stand for Christmas.

Posted in: Watch Grimes On Fallon
#7 

Joe Howse | Aug 16th Score:25

Says Billy “Deluxe Bonus Edition” Corgan

Posted in: Billy Corgan Says Soundgarden, Pavement Came Back “Only To Make Money”
#6 

Nathan Christensen | Aug 16th Score:27

-Mark Twain

Posted in: Wilco’s 10 Best Songs
#5  wesz_rosen | Aug 16th Score:27

Pretty solid list, I’d just like to submit for your approval that “I Am Trying to Break Your Heart” is not only Wilco’s best song, but one of the best songs of the last decade. Two cents.

Posted in: Wilco’s 10 Best Songs
#4 

Ben Cornell | Aug 14th Score:27

having seen a few people in the stereogum community opine that chris brown should be blackballed for life from music, i’m curious to see if a double standard will generally apply to a musician who makes the kind of stuff that the readers are more prone to enjoy.

Posted in: Surfer Blood Frontman Arrested On Domestic Violence Charges
#3 

Andrew Burr | Aug 10th Score:28
Posted in: Muse Go Dubstep
#2 

Corey Minagh | Aug 16th Score:44

I Am Trying To Break Your Heart doesn’t even make the top ten!? So long Stereogum, it’s been a blast!

Posted in: Wilco’s 10 Best Songs
#1 

Tom Hronec | Aug 10th Score:46
Posted in: Muse Go Dubstep

THIS WEEK’S 5 LOWEST RATED COMMENTS

#5  Michael_ | Aug 14th Score:-19

If anyone wonders why Stereogum doesn’t ban me despite my last two failed attempts, I’m just as clueless as you.

I guess it must be how bands’ press people have started using me as a vehicle to get to team Stereogum and land them future exclusives on here, which at first seemed like a compliment, but when you consider how these press people are just basically using you so that they can get chummy with the big fish in blog pond, it makes you wonder why you even bothering spending your time helping them. Where’s my exclusive? What’s wrong with my site? Oh, that’s right, I’m not good enough.

Posted in: Surfer Blood Frontman Arrested On Domestic Violence Charges
#4  Michael_ | Aug 11th Score:-20

It was me. I at least have the balls (pun intended) to admit it, unlike the anonymous downvoter who is stalking me on here. I guess we’re not going to be having fun and keeping things just about the music anymore due to the levels of red coming into my direction.

Posted in: Shut Up, Dude: This Week’s Best And Worst Comments
#3  Michael_ | Aug 14th Score:-22

Apparently when you reach a certain level of journalistic blogosphere integrity, you can just phone it in (or in this case, e-mail), write two sentence write-ups on songs regurgitated from other sources and get paid for it. It sucks how no one can really change how music opinion or trend is formed until these writers either die or this medium at least does.

Posted in: Surfer Blood Frontman Arrested On Domestic Violence Charges
#2  Michael_ | Aug 14th Score:-29

She should have just let him do himself in.

[Img removed -Ed]

Posted in: Surfer Blood Frontman Arrested On Domestic Violence Charges
#1 

Marc Francis | Aug 15th Score:-35

yawn. terrible. all that technology and she is still using a backing track? drag.

Posted in: Watch Grimes On Fallon

THIS WEEK’S EDITOR’S CHOICE (SCOTT)

  Zayin | Aug 15th Score:4

Hi. Robot store? I would like to order a dozen Aimee Mann’s please.

Posted in: Aimee Mann – “Charmer” Video (Feat. Laura Linney)

THIS WEEK’S EDITOR’S CHOICE (AMRIT)

 
Comments (106)
  1. so close Michael_….so close

    • It can’t be done…it’s the three minute mile.

    • The sort of hooilganism that reappeared this week would cost 2 years of your life in Russia.

    • That Deconstructing: Grimes article left a long-lasting sourpatch kid taste in Stereogum commenters’ mouths.

      DO NOT SLAM PUSSY RING QUEEN!

      • PUSSY RING RIOT!!!!

      • I’ll star by saying I play a few instruments, including keyboards. I’m no Chick Corea but I know what I’m doing . Some of the music I make is sample-based as well so at times, I have to cue samples live (used to use a laptop, now a Korg microsampler).

        I’ve seen Grimes perform twice live and a few times in video (TV, internet) and I’m convinced she is “lip-playing”, or “hand-synching”, or miming, or whatever you wat to call it. I think she plays keys at least some of the time but there is a bunch that i think she is actualy faking to a backing track. Seriously. Someone should investigate deeper ha

        • She’s not faking. Anyone with some knowledge of how music would can see that she is playing some and very obviously not playing other parts. She’s got a keyboard that she doesn’t play perfectly, so you know that is legit, and she has a sample up there for vocal harmonies and stuff. She sings also. There are backing vocal parts at some sections, though they are necessary because the song has multiple layers of her voice. And yeah, yeah, I know what a damn looper is, but it takes time to set up a looper, and this song moves a little to fast to set up all the harmonies and such to be able to record and sample them while keeping the pace of the song.

          I have to say, while I don’t LOOOOVE every single Grimes track, she is a pretty cool girl making some pretty cool tunes, and as a one woman performance, I think she did a pretty rad job getting everything from the recorded version into the live setting.

          Yep.

  2. Talk about a Cinderella story. Second comment ever and Marc ruins Michael_’s sweep.

  3. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  4. Is there anyway we could exile Michael_ to Consequence of Sound or NME’s comment sections?

  5. If Michael_ had gotten the sweep, Stereogum would officially have had someone it could call King of the Trolls.

    Fine tune that impeccable doucheness just a little bit more and I think you’ll have it Michael!

      • I’d like to stick up for Michael_ for a second.

        Of course he sometimes gets a little carried away, maybe even straight-up creepy offensive here and there, but he also has written some great stuff. And let’s be honest – even when dude gets dark, it’s still entertaining to watch in a can’t-turn-away-from-your-friend’s-aunt-getting-fingered-behind-Christie Mulligan’s-pool-at-the-Sunset Drive-block-party-’99 kind of way.

        As much as we all figure he is a real dude having a real bad day, maybe he’s an invented blog personality used to drive reactionary traffic (for good or bad). Or maybe this invention is there to build the site’s community, and to act as a “check.” Maybe Stereogum’s not even behind it…maybe it’s really Wayne Coyne and it’s some kind of lame social experiment. Or maybe it is the real Michael_…an enigmatic mix of molten hot brilliance and shards of frigid absolute zero, just trying to spray his bomb on this impossibly immense, yet interconnected, graff’ed up mess we call cyber space. The heart from his sleeve will remain smeared across these blogs, cached forever not only on the web’s bathroom stalls, but also on our minds. When the curtains close on his soap e-opera, whether it be today or decades from now, there will be another Michael_ to take his place. There certainly already is.

        The dude kinda made a point when he said, “you can just phone it in (or in this case, e-mail), write two sentence write-ups on songs regurgitated from other sources and get paid for it. It sucks how no one can really change how music opinion or trend is formed until these writers either die or this medium at least does.” Too harsh, yes…no one should be talking about dead writers here…but what’s he reeeeeeally saying?

        • I know what he’s saying, and I think generally speaking, he is wrong. Go have a look at Tom’s One Beat tribute if you are still entertaining the thought that Michael_ is some kind of sage. And while I would agree that Michael_ has certainly smeared something on the web’s bathroom stalls, I don’t think it was his heart.

          • I’m not really saying he’s a sage…I was just having some fun with that post while trying to state that Michael_ has also made some good contributions to the site in addition to the fckd up ones. And I can’t deny that even his meltdowns are kind of fun to watch.

            I’ll clarify that I wasn’t saying that Tom always “phones it in”; I really enjoy a lot of Tom’s pieces. That being said, there are plenty of times, generally speaking, that I’ll read amateurish posts by respected (or in some cases, supposedly) blog authors (including ones here from time to time; no one is perfect) and wonder how these people have that job.

            Maybe I’m Michael_. Maybe you are! Maybe not?

          • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  6. I like to pretend that Michael_ posts all the comments on stereogum comment board under an array of different accounts and that I’m really just witnessing an incredibly disturbed individual keep up a conversation with himself about boners and indie bands and whether whining about shit is a valid job or not.

  7. Game:

    If you could go back in time and be a member of any one band for exactly one year, which band would it be, and which year?

    Personally I’d probably go for either Wolf Parade in 1977 or The Jam in about 1979.

  8. I once scored #1 AND #2 in the worst list. Michael_ there is light at the end of that warped tunnel!

  9. Totally missed the whole Michael_ breaking his vagina thread…again.

  10. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  11. GAME! Top five most overrated bands of all time, GO!

    5. U2
    4. Alice in Chains
    3. Red Hot Chili Peppers
    2. AC/DC
    1. Nirvana

    • 5. The Smiths
      4. Sublime
      3. Nine Inch Nails
      2. Phish
      1. Dave Matthews Band

    • 5. Pavement
      4. Pavement
      3. Pavement
      2. Pavement
      1. Pavement

    • 5. The Who
      4. Stone Temple Pilots
      3. Dave Matthews Band
      2. The Black Keys (I expect hate for this)
      1. AC/DC

      • Few I forgot:
        The Eagles, Grateful Dead (zzzzzzzz)
        Pink Floyd
        Beach Boys
        Grimes

        • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

          • I just find her voice very displeasing and alienating.

            Just an opinion.

          • You’re definitely not alone. I think this Rubberjohn was actually poking fun at the community here, saying that listing Grimes as overrated would garner a backlash.

          • Indeed, that is the sentiment I intended to convey, chresus jist. However, I must now make a new request, this time sincere: that you try method® Winter Oak™ hand soap. Its scent hints at an image of an oak tree in a snowy forest: dormant, yet still somehow fragrant, to an almost insane extent. It is a fragrance that signals one thing: a distinct cleanliness of the hands (or “mitts,” if you prefer). Do try it, and please do try it today, my friend–for it is method® Winter Oak™ hand soap.

    • 5. Coldplay
      4. Pearl Jam
      3. Nirvana
      2. Red Hot Chili Peppers
      1. Oasis

    • Reverse version, underrated bands/bands that take too much crap!
      5. Coldplay (up until X&Y they were very good IMO)
      4. The Doors (Underrated, IMO they were miles ahead of almost anyone else in that era, the “almost” being Hendrix & The Beatles)
      3. Milli Vanilli (Nowadays with vocoders and such many popular musicians don’t really “sing” their songs.
      2. U2 (see below
      1. Metallica (Neither of them play amazing music, but people care too much about their personalities and let it get in the way of their listening. Also, “Until it Sleeps” I thought wasn’t bad.)

      • The Doors
        Chillis
        AC/DC
        Kaiser Chiefs
        Muse

      • The thing about Milli Vanilli that was different from modern day pop singers “not really singing” is that MV were actually singing to OTHER PEOPLE’S voices and making it iike it was them; ghost vocals.
        The crap you hear today is at least those people attempting to sing, it’s just processed, vocoded, etc. Unless they’re crediting other singers, it doesn’t happen like that.

        • Yeah, the technology has advanced to the point that there is no need for producers to replace recording artists with actual talented people. They just create a voice that doesn’t actually exist from whatever lame performance the recording artist provides…which is so much better than what Milli Vanilli did!

          • I didn’t say it was better, I was stating the difference. I’m not sticking up for vocoded, auto-tuned voices; I called it “crap”.

            From a moral standpoint, it’s safe to say that most reasonable people would agree that processing your own voice and putting it out to the world, as lame as it may be, is not as bad as putting out music that you claim is yours when it’s actually someone else’s. Huge difference.

            Do you think it’s ok to put compression on drums, bass, guitar, vocal, anything recordings? What about effects like the Digitech Whammy that Radiohead (and plenty others) uses all the time (and I love)? That’s changing the original sound and morphing it into something the performer thinks is more appealing. Does that fall into the same category for you? What about sequenced drums? You think programming drums is replacing talent for drum players? What if someone is using drum sampels because they simply like the way it sounds? Ya know…like how a lot of people usse vocal processing because they like the way it sounds…

            Good luck.

          • No, the amount of deception that some producers use to enhance a performer’s voice absolutely can render the end product as removed from the recording artist’s abilities as simply using someone else’s voice. In the case of Milli Vanilli, the real vocalists knew exactly what was going on and were financially compensated. They were complicit, so they are not really a factor when comparing the supposed performers’ indiscretions in the two situations (although maybe someone should have made their lives Hell too for being accessories). In both cases, a voice (manufactured or real) replaces an unusable one and a person with insufficient talent is rewarded with some amount of fame and fortune. The effects that are used on instruments are techniques that musicians in a band learn how to use as part of their craft, and furthermore, they are used to supplement performances that require some technical proficiency at the base level. When a performer has spent too much time with their effects pedals and not enough time on guitar lessons or working the kinks out of their songs, it shows, so there is nothing being disguised there. It is worth noting though that in the realm of guitars, achieving certain tones and textures is an area with as much potential complexity as some crazy classic-rock solo. Your line of questioning makes it seem as though you have little understanding of the wide gap that exists between mere artifice and true practice of a craft. As for drum machines (though they often sound much crappier than real drumming), they are not a trick used to fool the listener into thinking someone is an incredible drummer when he/she is not, and no one goes out and buys a million copies of an album because of a really awesome drum machine they heard. People know what they sound like, and people know the reasons why they are used (tone, cost, laziness, or inability). Unless your whole act is your supposedly amazing drumming skills, you aren’t doing anything wrong by using a drum machine on a recording (or live for that matter). I mean, if you are, say, sitting onstage and pretending to drum while a drum machine does all the work, that is wrong. What is of concern is the degree to which an artist’s talents are represented or misrepresented by a recording and if misrepresentation was the aim in the first place. Why any of this needed to be explained to you, I have no idea.

          • It seems we actually agree in one way (sometimes effects are skillfully used as part of a practiced craft, sometimes they’re used for compensating a lack of talent) but you’re missing the point…

            “No, the amount of deception that some producers use to enhance a performer’s voice absolutely can render the end product as removed from the recording artist’s abilities as simply using someone else’s voice.” – Well, it may come close these days but all vocal processors still rely on a source signal and the worse that source is, the more unrealistic it sounds when pitch corrected. The best software out there can do some pretty advanced correcting but that’s SOME producers and it’s still the person’s voice being manipulated…not flapping mouths on stage that never recorded the vocals in the first place, be it with significant technological assistance or not.

            No one said the real MV singers weren’t compensated, but the idea that MV was representing themselves as the singers is the moral issue. It wasnt the real singers that were manipulated, it was the audince. Most people can tell when so much pitch correction is used, that it may as well be someone else’s voice…but the point is, it is still is their voice. As you said similarly, “When a performer has spent too much time with their effects pedals and not enough time on guitar lessons or working the kinks out of their songs, it shows”…yeah, same thing with vocal processing. You seem to be creating arbitrary exemptions for certain elements of a recording…do you know what a compressor is? Do you know it can even out the levels of a recording, if the artist isn’t good at doing that during the performance? Do you know how many of your favorite songs have compression on them, either while they were recorded, or in post? If there’s too much of it and it’s compensating for something, it sucks…sometimes vocal processing is used for tasteful effects, or over-the-top sounds like Bon Iver’s “Woods”, or all that annoying T-Pain stuff..sometimes it’s used to correct the lack of intonation ability the singer has…the latter sucks and no one is arguing that.

            You probably have no idea how often live drums were “gridded” and quantized to perfect tempo for recordings you like. You probably have no idea how often a little subtle autotune is used (even on some of your favoritie indie artists). You probably have no idea how many comped vocal tracks (that means cuts of takes compiled together because the artist wasn’t able to do a complete part correctly) are in your favorite tunes.

            “Why any of this needed to be explained to you, I have no idea.” I have an idea – it actually didn’t need to be explained to me at all but you had the right to speak your mind. I have the right to tell you that you seem to like putting words in people’s mouths…maybe you should try putting your fist in your own. Figuratively, of course.

          • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

          • Your irrational, misinformed (along with misinforming), and ill-tempered response doesn’t warrant much more of my time. It’s a shame that you’re still really missing the point. But no worries!

  12. Oh not again Michael

  13. I’m getting really weirded out by Yeasayer staring at me over there. It’s like the eyes of a painting…

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.

%s1 / %s2