Has it really only been a year since Adele swept the 2012 Grammys? Well, she didn’t win Best New Artist, of course, because she wasn’t eligible for that one. That particular trophy was awarded to “new artist” Justin Vernon, aka Bon Iver, whose debut album, For Emma Forever Ago, came out the same year as Adele’s debut album, 19: in 2008! Ah, ragging on the 2012 Grammys — how we’ll miss thee! But no longer. Because tonight — and for the next year — we’ll be ragging on the 2013 Grammys! And that’s why we’re here, people, at this impromptu Comment Party, to which you are very much invited.
Who will be this year’s Adele? Well, you’ll hear the names Black Keys, Frank Ocean, fun., Gotye, and of course ol’ man Mumford and his boys, called out a bunch of times. Some that have already won (but won’t be televised) include: Gotye for Best Alternative Album, beating out our best album of 2012 (Fiona Apple’s The Idler Wheel …); Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross for Best Score Soundtrack; Björk for Best Recording Package; Jay-Z and Kanye West for Best Rap Performance and Best Rap Song; Drake for Best Rap Album; Black Keys for Best Rock Album and Best Rock Song; and Miguel for Best R&B Song. (Um … so what exactly will be televised?)
So, without further ado … let’s party! Before we begin, though, some dress code notes, courtesy of CBS. Ahem:
CBS Program Practices advises that all talent appearing on camera please adhere to Network policy concerning wardrobe.
Please be sure that buttocks and female breasts are adequately covered. Thong type costumes are problematic. Please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic. Please avoid sheer see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples. Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible “puffy” bare skin exposure. Please avoid commercial identification of actual brand name products on T-shirts. Foreign language on wardrobe will need to be cleared. OBSCENITY OR PARTIALLY SEEN OBSCENITY ON WARDROBE IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR BROADCAST. This as well, pertains to audience members that appear on camera. Finally, The Network requests that any organized cause visibly spelled out on talent’s wardrobe be avoided. This would include lapel pins or any other form of accessory.
I repeat: “Please be sure the genital region is adequately covered so that there is no visible ‘puffy’ bare skin exposure.” We straight? Cool. So let’s do this! Team Stereogum will see you in the comments, drinks in hand, properly attired. As always.
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Nothing screams Bob Marley tribute like Bruno Mars plugging his single.
Seems like it would be difficult to make your own hairstyle choices if you were Bob Marley’s son.
That was pretty good, but then again, I have a weakness for the air horn sound effect.
Anyone else think these Grammys have been really bland so far?
Oh god dammit, enough with the kick drums.
Also, WILL SOMEONE GET ME A FAWKING PEPSI ALREADY?!?!
Mumford, Jr. aka The Lumineers.
“Let’s hear it for indie success story the Lumineers!”
Great minds, Michael.
LOL “indie success story” The Lumineers.
The Lumineers aka Arcade Fire for Dummies
Jack White and Co. have a Gram Parsons/Flying Burritos aesthetic going on. Maybe trying to appeal to the country fans.
So far, I’ve heard both the n-word in Wiz Khalifa’s verse and the f-bomb in Jack White get past the censors.
Happy to see that Jack White has moved away from the Michael Jackson skin tone.
At least when Jack White does old-timey shit he remembers to write a song
People can shit on the Grammys as much as they want, but the truth is they’re really fun to watch. I couldn’t really care less who wins the awards unless its an artist I like, but watching performances such as the Bob Marley tribute where everyone was just having a good time shows how the Grammys can really bring people together.
That’s a valid point, but what I do hate is how they (through LL Cool J) keep stressing that every performance/presentation is going to be a “magical Grammy moment”. It kind of kills the fun for me (no pun intended).
That was really good from Jack White
I would totally buy Bonny Bear eyelashs
Was that a Bon Iver joke or did she say Bunny Bear?
http://whoisbonnybear.com/
i guess the only way to win best new artist is to make your first album four years before you win
Honestly, I knew Frank was going to win the Best New Artist category to either of the white average male bands.
wasn’t*
Ahh, so those are why people like Katy Perry. Side note, she and the girl from The Big Bang Theory look alike which is probably why I hate both
I still don’t know who Hunter Hayes is, but I’ll give an upvote to anyone making ANY Game of Thrones reference.
Wow, I thought country stars were supposed to have good vocals. So far they’ve all been terrible.
What the hell is Prince wearing?
That cane is awesome.
I just hate Taylor Swift.
They brought in Prince for THAT?
More like THAT’s all Prince would do.
Just getting him to step in front of a camera has to cost millions.
I think watching Prince walk onto stage with a cane in that outfit might have been the most interesting moment of the night for me.
What’s better?
Winning a Grammy or having Prince admit he likes your music?
I skipped Girls to watch this, so it’s nice that both Lena Dunham and Allison Williams are in attendance, too.
I don’t watch Girls but I do watch the sex scenes the next day on Fleshbot. BUZZMedia owns that site, too, right?
OH, SO NOW THIS COMMENT SHOWS UP. Where’s the other two that said the same thing, with the second saying a bit more about his this comment wasn’t going through due to censorship? Ah, that’s right — It wasn’t until I called it out that someone went into the admin settings and pretended like there was no censoring of our words going on.
And you mock the Grammys dress code?
“Carrie you look marvelous tonight. Who are you wearing?”
“Panasonic”
Oh great, here come the old dudes to tell us how we shouldn’t download music illegally…
Seacrest should be amazed to have a career in show business.
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Didn’t think this would be that popular, but there can be really good music teachers and there can be music teachers that change peoples lives, but you can still be a really good music teacher and it still be an easy job, which is not true for other subject areas…except PE my weight training teacher did the eliptical all class and got paid the same amount as teachers spending every night and weekends on planning, prep, and grading. That’s stupid to me.
I get why people feel its unnecessary to shit talk music teachers because it is, but I’m just curious if anyone really thinks it’s not an easier job then being an english/math/science teacher
Who are you talking to?
There is just nothing inherently true about that statement. If you were in band in school, your school must have had a shitty band. If that’s the case, then yeah, the director has an easier job and shouldn’t get paid as much as an english or math teacher. For some, the job is much more time-intensive and challenging than a regular teaching job. They have to study the music the band or orchestra is working on; they have to lead rehearsals in early mornings and late evenings; they have to organize fundraisers and budget the funding they receive from the school for the endless amount music program expenses; they have to know how to work with different kids with wide ranges of skill/ability levels; they have to be intimately familiar and able to teach different styles of music; they have to coordinate events, concerts, and contests; they might be the only teacher students will have for every year they’re in school, so they have to maintain uniquely personal relationships with students and parents; they have to keep kids inspired, because someone fucking up or having a shitty attitude doesn’t just result in a bad grade, but it brings the whole group down; and there are a million more things, all in addition to the typical responsibilities of lesson plans, evaluating individual performances, giving individual assignments, and administering grades. Also unlike any other teacher, the quality of the work they’re doing is not evaluated by mere standardized test scores (which is unfortunately the case for all teachers in the public school system), but by the extent to which the end product of their labor is able to positively represent the school in the eyes of the administration, school board, and the wider public. The band director back at my high school was among the highest paid faculty members, and he deserved every penny. When you do the job right, it’s arguably the hardest teaching position.
RIP MCA
I think I just uncovered Stereogum’s censored comment keyword game.
Yep, I did! There’s certain keywords in posts they won’t allow to go through just like Deadmau5′ wardrobe tonight.
This is bad news, guys. Like, really bad news for the future of commenting. What it says is that (judging by past week’s worst comments,) you can write homophobic slurs, but you can’t speak of their parent company.
You can write BUZZMedia if you want.
Oh, no, don’t go unblocking the word now. I posted the same comment three times and they all failed on me. hashtag conspiracytheory.
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Yeah because gay people just can’t resist one another…just like straight people…Bigot.
Yeah because homosexual men just can’t resist one another…just like straight people…Bigot.
He’s just a troll, don’t feed him.
and i used to like chipotle… now even they are against me.
“…don’t feed him.”
but DO advertise burritos to him.
lol nice job posting the comment twice. “omg i wrote gay better change it to homosexual so i don’t sound like exactly who I am criticizing”
nice try bucko.
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bryan randall you must be new here
Yeah just randomly stumbled on this site tonight looking for a Grammy Comment thread to encounter internet trolls on. My lucky night bucko.
That should have been a Yauch all-star tribute.
this dude needs to sing ‘merican
Wish he was doing Thinking Bout You. THAT FALSETTO
Saw that coming
Dammit.
What? The white bread folk band won? Look at the shock on Leland Palmer’s face.
Conspiracy theory: Tom’s In Defense piece was a last minute voter push to make this win happen, funded by this site’s owners (which you cannot type, as I’ve discovered tonight. You can write a homophobic slur just fine, but type their corporate owners’ name? Nope!)
Buzz Media?
I want to point out again that “BUZZ Media” was censored from inserting into a post (Believe me, I tried like five times) before I called the site out on it and they lifted the ban on it, pretending like it wasn’t in place to begin with.
Ugh. That’s all I’ve got to say about that.
I knew Tom would pull something like this.
Tom must be happy
Tom sucks at life.
Go away LL come on. The self promotion by CBS is way too obvious and shameless.
White people love LL Cool J because he makes Will Smith look like Malcolm X
Wait what is Tom Morello doing up there?
Wasn’t RATM’s whole thing anti-corporate?
Anti-corporate stance runs Mon-Fri. Weekends off.
Overall I’m pretty disappointed with this year’s Grammys. Usually I like them and I completely flipped when The Suburbs won. But Frank got robbed
All or most of the new Timberlake album just leaked.
Cancel that, just this supposed 8 minute song, “Mirrors”: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=4_QZPcNoXGw
Congratulations to the Producers of the 2013 Grammies. Best awards show I have ever heard. Sensational!! It was so, so nice to have a host who did not try to be a comedian. The rest of the awards shows should take lessons from you. Really enjoyed it and the entertainment package that you presented was GREAT!!
By the way – hear Taylor Swift doesn’t like Carrie Underwood!! Who cares what Taylor Swift likes. She is such a loser. Carrie just outshines her by a long. long. sot.
pretty dull this year hmm
I echo Bon Iver’s sentiment – “whats the difference between song and record?” Maybe I should listen to more records and less songs; judging from the Grammy results, “record” means “a song that is entirely less terrible than a ‘song’ ” (no disrespectin The Format though…)
record of the year award goes to performer, song of the year goes to songwriter
Huh… funny that. Because it seems that if anyone deserves a nod for quality performance shtick, Nate Ruess and Janelle Monae are up there – at the same time, Nate Ruess is uniquely unqualified for the “song” award, as he wrote what is, really, probably the worst (or at least most ubiquitously awful) song of the year =|
It’s pretty ambiguous but I think the best way to look at it is how well the song was performed (i.e. how good it sounds) vs. how well written/crafted it was. (Lyrics, melody & instruments) Obviously though these kind of go hand-in-hand, so I think the major reason they have two categories is because they want to recognize more than 5 or 6 songs with nominations in the major categories.
Am I the only one who felt that Fiona Apple got robbed?