Explaining Your Breaking Bad Engagement Photos To A Friend
Your Friend: Oh, your photos are so cute! What are you guys dressed up as?
You: Thank you! We’re dressed up as the characters from the show Breaking Bad.
Your Friend: Oohh, sure, sure, I’ve heard a lot of people talking about that show. What’s it about?
You: Well, essentially Vince Gilligan “took Mr. Chips to Scarface.”
Your Friend: Mr. Chimps? What?
You: No, I mean — It’s about a high school teacher who gets cancer–
Your Friend: Oh no!
You: So he starts making meth–
Your Friend: What!
You: Just let me explain it? He starts making meth — blue meth, it’s the best meth that there is — with a former student, but then his cancer goes away or whatever, but then he likes making meth so he keeps doing it, and they become like these major international meth manufacturers.
Your Friend: Oh my god!
You: Yeah, and like, the guy’s brother-in-law is in the DEA and stuff, and he has no idea that his brother-in-law is this big deal meth guy — he calls himself “Heisenberg.” He, like, murders all of these people and stuff. He blows one guy up and half of his face comes off!
Your Friend: And then you guys have to stop them?
Your Friend: The guys you are dressed up as in your engagement photos? Do they stop the bad guys?
You: Oh, no. Those are the guys I was talking about.
Your Friend: What?!
You: They’re not BAD GUYS. They’re — you just have to watch it. I don’t think I explained it well. And, well, one of them is even kind of good! He doesn’t like to murder people, even though he does it, and he has some love interests. He’s kind of the moral compass.
Your Friend: Are you insane?!
You: You’re insane! For not having watched this show! It was the best show!!!
Your Friend: These are your ENGAGEMENT PHOTOS. You’re dressed up as drug dealing murderers!
You: THEY ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.
Your Friend: Okay, whatever. I wish I hadn’t asked. But, just so we’re clear, your ring is sitting in meth in that photo?
Your Friend: Jesus.
You: “I am the one who ASKS. FOR YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE.”
Your Friend: What?!
You: UGGGHH. You just don’t get it!!
Scene. (Photos via IncredibleThings.)