Videogum

The Only Way The Robots Can Win Is By Fucking CHEATING!

Gabe Delahaye | June 5, 2013 - 3:30 pm

For years now, mankind has lived in fear of the robot uprising, and for good reason. Robots are so mean! And they have pinchers for hands! And their eyes are lasers that will burn you, and their teeth are grinding gears that will ruin the sleeves on all of your shirts. Ugh, I ask you, is there anything worse in this world than a robot? And yet, while robots remain horrible and disgusting, it appears that our fear of them pooling their resources and taking over this place were unfounded. I’m not saying we’re entirely safe from these assholes, but the only way they are going to get into the White House is by fucking CHEATING. After the jump I have posted some typical robot propaganda in which some robot tries to prove that robots are better than human beings by running faster than one of our fastest runners. Yikes, OK, that would definitely be a good reason to call a house meeting. But when you review the tape, you will see that this guy is totally CHEATING! For one thing, HE IS NOT EVEN RUNNING. He’s on a train track! So, what, now we are supposed to be scared of a TRAIN UPRISING? We already know that dudes can’t run faster than trains. The trains won that race back in the 1980s. So what. Are the robots going to build a train track that runs right into the Pentagon and then race us to the Pentagon?! Fuck you, robots, you fucking idiots. You fucking losers. Haha. Fuck robots no joke! All robots can burn in robot hell for as far as I’m concerned. Look at this shit, I’m sick to my stomach:

With his stupid face. YOU HAVE NO HONOR, ROBOT! Whatever. You won the race but you just lost the war, you stupid piece of shit robot with a stupid face and train track legs good luck with that drop dead. (Via HyperVocal.)