Well? So What’s Your Favorite Company Now?

By Gabe Delahaye / February 4, 2013

I can’t believe it’s been almost 24 hours since the Purple Birds beat the Red Numbers in the big game and we haven’t even talked about THE ADS yet!!! THE ADS!!! Was it just me, or was this year the most snooziest of all the years? When that one ad came on for farms with some old man showing his iPhoto slideshow I said “Well, the weird thing is THIS is the best ad of the night,” because it was. Everything was so boring and/or racist. Apparently all of the beer in the world is black now? Sure. (Speaking of: what was that one black beer ad with a cartoon frog singing Cee-Lo songs or something? Because he was going to have sex with the bottle? Do we all live in Germany now?) The real takeaway from last night was that you should never raise an animal and love it like a true friend, because eventually you will just have to sell it to Budweiser. YIKES. Oh wait, what am I even talking about, last night was the premiere of the new Go Daddy ad where the ugly nerd kissed the hot babe with tongue! WHAT A NIGHT TO REMEMBER I AM JUST KIDDING IT WAS THE WORST. But, so, OK, fine, what was your favorite company? As required by law, everyone had to make at least one Super Bowl influenced purchase today, so what was it? A truck? A bag of pistachios (aka outdated pop referenceios)? Axe body spray? (Fictionalization.) THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT AMERICAN PEOPLE CONTINUE TO FEEL CONFIDENT IN BUYING THINGS OTHERWISE OUR EXPLOITATIVE CAPITALIST SYSTEM OF FREE MARKET SUBJUGATION OF THE THIRD WORLD ALL GOES BYE BYE! So, like, Doritos? Coke? Tell me what you buy!!!! (May sell personal information to third party advertisers.)