Push Ups 4 Purity

By Gabe Delahaye / August 20, 2012

This is just a great way to start the day AND get ready for the beach. We all have to make sacrifices, men and women. (And also boys ranging from 8-15.) Are push ups sacrifices? Let’s just say that they are.This isn’t 100 argues 4 purity. In order to get yourself right with God, just do 100 push ups a day, or no push ups whatsoever like that one dude who couldn’t even bring himself to do one goddamned push up 4 purity. Come on, dude! The lady who thanked, like, 10 different people for helping to make Push Ups 4 Purity a reality (sure) and then proceeded to not even do any push ups as far as I could tell, and what is a Beach Body Instructor anyways? But that lady said you could substitute in some exercises here and there if 100 push ups over the course of a day (which is not even that many push ups if you’re spreading them out, but OK, we all make sacrifices to look great in heaven and at the beach) seemed like too many push ups, as long as your intention was clear, but I don’t think she meant substitute other exercises for push ups before even doing any push ups. What kind of example is that setting for the CHILDREN? Although my other question would be why are the children doing push ups? They should be smoking weed and stealing cars! Did you HAVE to put that guy in the video? “You know, Jerry can’t even do any push ups, maybe we shouldn’t put him in the push up line for the Push Ups 4 Purity video since the video is suggesting people should do push ups for no apparent reason other than something to do with the inherent filthy evil of sex but he won’t even do one push up whatsoever.” “Are you kidding? Jerry is ESSENTIAL. Because life is precious, and God, and the bible.” “That’s why they call him One Take But Zero Push Ups Jerry.” “WRAP PARTY!” (Via ChristianNightmares.)