A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: President Obama Affirms His Support Of Gay Marriage
Kelly: Hey, Gabe
Gabe: hi kelly
Gabe: how are you?
Kelly: I’m good! How are you?
Gabe: pretty good, thanks
Gabe: well, it’s been great talking to you, as always
Kelly: So, but wait! I’m assuming you’ve heard the news? About Obama?
Gabe: phew, almost thought i was going to have to chat with kelly
Gabe: but i think she’s done
Gabe: OOPS WRONG WINDOW
Gabe: AHHHH WRONG WINDOW LOLOLOL
Kelly: :'( :'(
Gabe: i was talking about another kelly
Gabe: i was talking about kelly slater
Gabe: the professional surfer
Kelly: Oh yeah, I BET.
Gabe: we chat a lot and the guy won’t ever shut up
Gabe: “so pitted”
Gabe: enough, kelly slater
Gabe: we get it
Kelly: Well I didn’t believe you at first but now I’m pretty sure you are talking about Kelly Slater
Gabe: so what’s this about Obama? he’s the new face of Chanel No 5?
Gabe: that’s a little RSS humor for the blogheads
Kelly: That was a pretty good one
Gabe: THANK YOU
Gabe: FINALLY, A COMPLIMENT
Kelly: Oh my goodness, you are IMPOSSIBLE
Gabe: YOU are impossible
Gabe: we’ve been chatting FOREVER
Gabe: and this is the first time you compliment me
Gabe: it’s disgusting
Gabe: speaking of compliments
Gabe: here is the one thing i will say about all this Obama business
Gabe: obviously it is a net positive thing
Gabe: and i recognize the immense weight of the historical precedents that make this meaningful
Gabe: and i’m aware of the disappointing and often disgusting realities of our still backwards society
Gabe: we also do not have to pretend like this man is INCREDIBLE for doing what he and everyone else in the world should have done a long fucking time ago
Gabe: yes, good, he spoke a basic human truth about equality
Kelly: Right. Especially when he was getting so much heat for not having already said it.
Gabe: he barely even over-qualified it and equivocated endlessly!
Gabe: again: this is a good thing
Kelly: Even though it doesn’t necessarily change much
Gabe: but, like, good GRIEF we live in Bummertown USA that something so simple and incontestable is met with such rapturous relief
Gabe: HE SAID IT! HE SAID THE PLAIN AND SIMPLE THING FOR WHICH THERE IS NO MORALLY RESPONSIBLE COUNTER-ARGUMENT!
Kelly: Right, and on top of that, the thing that his supporters wanted him to say
Kelly: There was barely a reason not to.
Kelly: And he did stress that it was his “personal” belief kind of a frustrating amount.
Gabe: he also said that he’s struggled with it
Gabe: which is a kind of hard thing to have to listen to someone say
Gabe: what’s the struggle?
Gabe: politically i know what he means
Gabe: but what’s the struggle?
Kelly: I mean
Kelly: You can’t really stress that this is now your personal belief, and then say it wasn’t always your PERSONAL belief because there are SOME people who define marriage a certain way based on their religion and tradition and whatever
Kelly: Which is how he explained the struggle
Kelly: Politically that could explain your actions but, yeah, I’m not sure what the struggle would be with one’s own belief
Gabe: i guess the good news is
Gabe: now we can vote for Mitt Romney with a clear conscience
Gabe: it was going to be a close race but now it’s like
Gabe: the decision has been made for us
Kelly: Politics, it’s almost too easy.
Gabe: “Politics, it’s almost too easy.” – Kelly Slater
Kelly: :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(