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The Porno Switcheroo Archives: Birthday Party Movie Time

Gabe Delahaye | February 15, 2012 - 9:30 am

It’s the first Porno Switcheroo of 2012! For those of you just joining us, a Porno Switcheroo is what happens anytime that someone thinks they are about to watch a movie or video clip, whether in a civics lesson in a high school, or as part of a Powerpoint presentation at the BIG MEETING, and porno plays instead. Often children–poor, impressionable, sad children who should never have to ask any questions about the world they live in, or come to any honest and realistic understanding of what sex is–are involved, but not always. When this happens, it is dutifully entered here, into the Porno Switcheroo Archives, our nation’s best protected and most extensive research facility for Porno Switcheroos. Personally, my favorite Porno Switcheroos are when the stakes are unrealistically high, like a teacher whose job is now on the line (see: those broken, ruined children), or a priest who is going to have a lot of explaining to do to God when he gets to heaven about a) where the porno came from and b) why he was showing a clip from Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel’s Life as We Know It in the first place. But today’s Porno Switcheroo is still a pretty good one, when a father attempts to show a group of children The Smurfs at his child’s birthday party and ended up showing them a very different movie indeed. From AZcentral:

Tremonton Police Chief Dave Nance tells the Standard-Examiner of Ogden the man had rented a copy of “The Smurfs” from a Redbox kiosk and loaded the disc into his laptop. But when he turned the projector on for the children, the pornographic images flashed on the screen. Authorities got involved when the father complained somebody had tampered with the DVD. Police found nothing wrong, saying the porn was probably on the laptop.

Nance says officials aren’t pursuing charges because the incident was apparently an accident.

“The Smurfs” was released in 2011 and features animated blue creatures that are chased into New York City by an evil wizard.

On the one hand, there are a lot of missing details here that we’d obviously love to have for a complete accounting of what happened. Like, was the “child” a boy or a girl? (If it please the court, this would determine whether or not the birthday party was made up primarily of little boys or little girls, which would help America decide how OUTRAGED to be about these destroyed, unrecoverable children who are now forever lost.) On the other hand, how great is it that as with any Classic Porn Switcheroo, the person responsible blames the computer when it was clearly just their porno buried in a misnamed folder within a misnamed folder within a misnamed folder. HAHAHAHAHAHAH. Always the best. “This DVD is broken! Or it’s the computer. Or maybe the porn came in through the power cord. Help! Police! Someone SHOOT THIS COMPUTER!” We will continue to research and compile all of the Porno Switcheroos. For science!

“The Smurfs” was released in 2011 and features animated blue creatures that are chased into New York City by an evil wizard. (Thanks for the tip, Dave.)