This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys
We’ve got a bunch of movie trailers this week and NONE of them are rom-coms! What happened to all the rom-coms? Have we run out of ideas for rom-coms? Hellloooooo, Hollywood. Give the me what I want! ROM-COMS! Instead of rom-coms, though, we have a bunch of other kinds of movies, and generally they don’t look that terrible! So let’s jump in, eh? Let’s jump in.
Aww, this doesn’t look terrible! Granted, I’m certainly not going to see it because even though it looks nice and has lots of people I like in it, it is ultimately a movie about saving whales, which is a very noble cause and good for you, but I don’t really want to see a movie about it. I apologize. I’m sure there are lots of people who want to see a movie about it, but I am just not one of them. Also I don’t like Drew Barrymore, and she seems to be Drew Barrymoring it up big time in this one. Sorry, Drew Barrymore!
I’m put off immediately by this movie because, as most of you I’m sure, I do not like Nicolas Cage or January Jones. They are terrible! But also, and I’m sure many of you are not with me here, I also do not like Guy Pearce. He always seems to be smirking? This annoying stupid smirk that he attaches to every character and it’s like not every character is smirking all the time, you know? So I don’t like that guy, for that weird nit-picky personal reason. But other than that this movie seems like a fine idea for a thriller. Kind of like Drive, except not really and so much worse. See it or don’t, either way I’m fine with it!
Ahhh, the classic tale of man vs. wolf. A relatable idea, but do we REALLY need another man vs. wolf movie? JK. I don’t understand what this movie is about. There was a plane crash and now he has to fight wolves to avenge his wife’s death? I don’t know. I’d want to see it maybe, but I feel like there’s gonna be a lot of wolf gore and I DO NOT enjoy wolf gore. So no thank you. Good try but no thank you.
The Deep Blue Sea
This is an adaptation of the Terrence Rattigan play of the same name. “We know.” FINE. Although this is a short trailer, I think it looks pretty promising? It at LEAST looks pretty. I 60% want to go see it.
Who’s doing the voiceover here? The voiceover sounds like it’s done by a guy who doesn’t have a deep voice, but is doing a deep “trailer guy” voice because he had to record a movie trailer voiceover for a project in his Sound Engineering class. Is it Leonardo DiCaprio? Because his accent, as usual, is TERRIBLE SOUNDING! What’s the deal with Leonardo DiCaprio and terrible accents? He should either not do them or try to do them better. Someone should pass that advice onto him, thank you. Oh and also this movie looks like it would be good as long as it is under two hours and ten minutes and I highly doubt that it will be so BOOOOO TOOOO LOOOONG.
Man on a Ledge
Nope, no thank you. Did not like this one. Everyone is acting terribly as if accurately portraying an emotion is not the only job they have to do and the plot is annoying. “ACTION AND HIGH STAKES.” – This movie. “ZZzzZZzzzzzZz.” – Me.
Ahhh! I can’t wait for this one, from the director of Helvetica and Objectified, which I understand are totally annoying documentaries to love, but ARE documentaries that I love so DEAL WITH IT! Can’t wait to find a topic very interesting that I thought I’d find very boring and then feel like a REAL smarty about it. “I’m so smart now.” -Kelly, after watching this documentary.