Dancing Squid Is Horrifying Please Don’t Eat It
Something that I’m trying to learn, and maybe you’ll find that this is a good tip to use in your own life, is that when someone orders something that is clearly disgusting at a restaurant, you don’t make a gross face and say “Ewwwww.” Similarly, when someone offers you a sip of the drink they’re enjoying and you don’t like it, you don’t respond with, “Yuck, no, gross.” Probably a better response would be something like, “Not for me,” or maybe you just nod and say nothing? I don’t particularly agree with these things — I’d much rather be able to express myself freely and tell you that everything you’re doing is wrong, but it is certainly rude and I’m working on it. Do I like it when people tell me that you’re not supposed to put butter on your pop tarts? Or that water isn’t a fine substitute for milk in cereal when you don’t have any milk but really want cereal? I don’t like it, and frankly it’s none of their business. With that said:
WHY DID YOU ORDER THE SQUID THAT IS MOVING!? IT IS SO GROSS! EWWW!!!!
Ahhhh!! I can’t believe this person is going to eat this thing and that other people have eaten and and continue to eat it, EVEN TODAY! Even today someone will eat something like this, I’m sure! That is not food. That is a monster that is moving. Please take it and put it somewhere it can’t harm you and then continue to eat your meal. A neat fact about this horrible nightmare is that it is dead and only moving because the soy sauce is making its muscles contract somehow. I don’t know. I read it in the youtube comments and was at first VERY interested and then I immediately became bored, so it’s something about the sodium and nerves and muscles contracting. Who says you don’t learn anything on the internet! But maybe you already knew that? “I learned that first in school and then saw it on Iron Chef. Also this looks delicious.” – Everyone, probably. Ugh, whatever.
So, to rest my case, I am gross and have an unappealing personality, but also this is not food, it is a nightmare that no one should eat. I rest my case. (Via UniqueDaily.)