This morning, I was awoken at 5:45AM by my dog (her name is Birdie!) scratching in her kennel and whining. This is very unusual because usually she does not wake me up at any time with this kind of behavior, much less a ridiculous and unhuman time. Girl loves to sleep! In fact, I am usually the one dragging her out of bed for a morning walk. What she never seems to understand is that there is no reason to give me the stink eye because I TOTALLY GET IT. You and me both, dog sister. Anyway, I let her out and she bolted to the front door, so I took her outside for a walk, but after about half a block she was just being weird and not doing anything and I was getting annoyed because I had a one way ticket to DREAMLAND burning a hole in my pocket. So we went back home, but she didn’t seem to want to go inside and when I tried to put her back in her kennel she really didn’t want to go, which again was odd because usually she loves to go in there. It is her wilderness cave! I tried to go back to sleep but this time there was barking! She never barks! And just unhappiness. What was up with this dog?! I let her out again and she bolted to the front door again and back outside we went and this time after a few steps we solved the dilemma. The solution: diarrhea! She’s doing fine now, she is sleeping right next to my feet as I type this, and we haven’t had any more solutions all day. The point of this story is that it’s not an easy life, even for dogs, who have pretty nice lives for the most part. But sometimes you’re lying in a sunbeam and sometimes that sunbeam is hidden behind storm clouds. Storm clouds filled with poop. What I’m saying is, enjoy those warm naps whenever you can. Tomorrow you might wake up at 5:45.
For example, if you want to be part of an intensely creepy religious ceremony that involves lots of weird giggling and cellphone photo taking and a Christian figurehead who looks like he is the creepy old guy in the back corner of a college basement rock show, then you should do that! If it makes you happy do it! Hopefully it makes you as happy as it makes me terrified.
Stay close, you guys. DO NOT GET SEPARATED FROM THE GROUP. We really need a buddy system around here if we are going to make it. (Via DangerousMinds.)