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Hey Girls, Check Out This Chocolate Printer

By Kelly Conaboy / July 7, 2011 - 12:30 pm

Girls, as you know, there are times in all of our lives when we need to get something off of our computer screen that is currently on our computer screen. When we buy eTickets, when we need to print out a picture that we like to hang up in our workspace just to personalize it a little because we can’t work to our full capacity in an environment that is only sterile and cold, documents, maps, and many other things. But, as you also know, printing things out is one of the MOST boring things that you can do. “Print. Print. Print. Print.” – Impression of a printer. “Standing.” -Impression of you, waiting for the printer to do its only job that most of the time it can’t seem to do without a problem anyway. And what do you even do with the paper after you use it? Put it in a folder? Throw it away? See how small you can fold it up? Recycle it? Doesn’t recycling paper use more energy than it takes to just make new paper? Didn’t you hear that somewhere? Shouldn’t you just throw it in the garbage? It’s closer anyway? Too late already just threw it in the garbage? It’s a never-ending cycle of unanswered questions.

Well, girls (and if boys use printers?), I may have an answer.

When GIRLS rule the world, every printer will be a chocolate printer. And there will be no more paper waste. And everyone will be beautiful — and I do mean the Hollywood standard of beautiful, which will have been adjusted by this point, in part due to the printers — and so happy. And we’ll all just eat all the chocolate all the time. And no one will even care about eTickets or maps or documents anymore, because they will melt almost instantly and people will get tired of dealing with them. And there won’t be any wars. And gay marriage will be legal in every state in the USA. Maybe not everywhere in the world, though, because it is a big world and who can say. And everyone will have perfect skin and no one will have to pay for Internet access. And once everyone buys clothing, they will continue to like it even when they get home from the store. And bedbugs won’t exist.

Thank you, chocolate printer! (Via TheDailyWhat.)