Kourtney Kardashian, your girlfriend, had a small part on One Life to Live, your TV show! She plays a lawyer, OBVIOUSLY. Haha. The reason that you know she is a good lawyer is because her very first line on the show is “I’m a lawyer!” SUSTAINED! Man, it is REALLY weird hearing words come out of her mouth, because for awhile it’s hard to tell what they are. She definitely doesn’t know. It’s kind of like that alien in Men and Black who has trouble fitting into his human skin suit and there’s like puss oozing everywhere and his eyes are black and he’s like “MAKE ME TO PRESIDENT!” but with just really simple words, like, “My name is Kassandra.” (Also: her name is Kassandra.) Anyway, Kourtney really gives this whole acting thing her best shot, and she even gets through a couple of lines–including the brain-melter “it’s unconstitutional”–before she just straight up biffs a line but the director keeps it in because it’s Kourtney Kardashian and we do not have all fucking day.
Wait for it.
Wait for it!
Haha. Pretty sure “well IF you’re the one who opened your big mouth” is not a sentence. CUT! NAILED IT! (Via Vulture.)