I haven’t been writing about this season of The Real Housewives of New York because it turns out, and I only just learned this, but apparently you only live once? Did you guys know that? Obviously, if that’s true, then that changes EVERYTHING. The level of tolerance for watching human nightmares with melting faces engage in staged bickering for the benefit of furthering their careers as human nightmares with melting faces engaged in staged bickering drops PRECIPITOUSLY when you realize you aren’t going to get another chance on this Earth. That being said, we also only get one Summer Jams Mixtape of 2010, so we have got to make the most of it, which is why we should definitely include the new “song” (haha, right) by the Cuntess LuAnn De Lesseps, “Money Can’t Buy You Class.” Get it? Because she married a rich person and cheated on him and got divorced, she knows all about manners! And the other thing she knows all about is making GREAT MUSIC.
“Your company should feel when your conversation’s real even if the topic feels like science class.”
Wow! What? I wish I was a shitty human being with backwards priorities who was focused on material wealth and base-level cable reality TV exhibitionism so I could understand the cool lyrics to this interesting song! I also wish I was a computer so that I could sing like LuAnn De Lesseps! Check out the song (via Dlisted) here