For the record (again) I hate Alice Sebold’s book The Lovely Bones. It is the Tuesdays with Morrie of horrific child-rape-homicide. “Rarely have I been so uplifted by a horrific child-rape-homicide. The last time I felt this great was watching Roberto Benigni’s hilarious romantic comedy about Jews dying in concentration camps.” But man, whatever you think of that book (whether you hate it or whether you super-hate it), you have to admit that this poster is the new creepness.
“I THINK THERE’S BEEN A RAPE UP THERE!”
“UGH UGH UGH.”
“This holiday season, heaven is just a brutal rape-murder away.” That is what the tagline for this movie should be. “In cornfields, no one can hear you raped.” Look at her eyes. “Uh oh, is that a rape up ahead?” Yup. She’s walking right towards a super-scary rape. Oh hi HEAVEN! I see heaven poking through the clouds. “Dear Susie, my name is heaven and you have been raped.” I want to throw this movie in the fires of Mount Doom. Get it? You get it. If anyone sees this poster and is actually MORE inclined to go see the movie, they have to watch it on the bus to jail. WE’RE GONNA NEED A FASTER BUS!