Videogum

Videogum’s Teen Korner: Now Wut?

Gabe Delahaye | November 19, 2009 - 10:12 am

Energy drinks!

I know that many of you cool dudes and even cooler young women are reading this on your smartphones right now, because that is the only way to access the NET when you are spending the week in sleeping bags in front of the movie theater waiting for Twilight New Moon to open. Did you keep your pre-purchased Fandango tickets in your velcro wallet or a special pocket in your Dora: The Explorer backpack? (Mom won’t get me a new backpack until next year, she says this one works perfectly fine even though I HATE it and I HATE her.) I’m only asking because I am nervous that if you keep gripping your pre-purchased Fandango ticket like that you’re going to sweat off all the ink and they won’t let you in. Base-jumping!

Obviously, New Moon (AHHHHHH!) doesn’t open until tomorrow (NnnnnnNNNNNnnnNNNNN!) and you haven’t even seen it yet, so it might seem like a waste of time to talk about what to get excited about after New Moon. That’s like spending Christmas Eve talking about which holiday you’re looking forward to most. But what if I told you that this St. Patrick’s Day was going to star HANNAH MONTANAAAAAAAAAAA! Whoa, you guys. Let’s all take an X-BOX and just CHILLAX. Sometimes life is just too much.

The Last Song trailer, you guys:

So Miley Cyrus is a mummy who goes to live with her dad who has an ancient feud with the banshees, but then Hannah Montana falls in love with a sand worm and her brother is a baby Beetlejuice.

MY VAGINA IS POUNDING SO FAST!

Cool beans? More like the coolest beans!