Michael Bay has announced on his website that not only will he be shooting a third Transformers movie (FILE UNDER: no doy) with Megan Fox and Shia LaBeouf reprising their roles as the two people in the world who understand what the fuck is going on, but that the movie is being fast-tracked to come out a year earlier than previously scheduled, on July 1, 2011. Oh good! From Reuters:
“Well, it’s official: We have a great ‘Transformers 3′ story,” Bay said on his Web site. “Today is Day One.”
I’m sure! I’m sure that it’s one of the best stories. “And the robot with the Truck Nutz goes bleep blop bloop and the other robot is like PUNCH IN FACE and now there is a fire. Are those missles?” You know, story-telling.
But July 1, 2011 is still a pretty long ways away. So what should you do to pass the time until this wonderful movie finally gets here?
- Read some books about human beings dealing with realistic and comprehensible dramatic conflicts.
- Watch some movies that have realistic human relationships, and no characters played by the guy who does voice over work for “In a world…” trailers.
- Talk to your friends about things you actually care about!
- Raise your children!
- Drive around in cars that don’t turn into shit.
- Just generally enjoy the lightness and beauty of an innocent world that does not yet know of Transformers 3
Unless you’re actually excited about this movie. In which case you can also add the following activity:
- Revisit your priorities in an attempt to figure out and address what is wrong with them
Can’t hardly wait! (Can hardly wait, and also can just regular wait.)