A pole dancing studio in Utah has started a petition to make pole dancing a sport in the 2012 Olympics. FAIR ENOUGH. I am not about to come to anyone’s work and slap the pole out of their crotch. But let’s be really honest with ourselves, pole dancing community. If you want to make the argument that pole dancing is intensely athletic and demands impressive total body conditioning and coordination, be my guest. But if you want to make the argument, as this lady does, that ROCK CLIMBERS USE POLE DANCING AS A WAY TO TRAIN FOR THE MOUNTAINS, then you are being a fucking liar.
There are more lies packed into this one minute video than there are in the first half hour of Jim Carey’s hit comedy Liar Liar (before the magical curse was placed on him and he was forced to always tell the truth, to hilarious effect). For one, there is (sic) not professions, plural, that use pole dancing. There is one profession. It is called pole dancer. Also, I find it hard to believe that a guy who was into rock climbing but couldn’t afford to install his own rock wall would opt to put in a permanent stripper pole rather than just, you know, going to the gym. Or the mountains. I feel that many men might opt to leave everything they had behind and MOVE to the mountains before installing a stripper pole. Not that that would be necessary, since no one is doing this made up thing the lady on the computer TV just made up.
Remember pole dancing enthusiasts: no sport was ever admitted into the Olympics by subterfuge, except for speed walking. Speed walking is bullshit.