I’m not saying that because Coldplay is now officially Stuff White People Like, I’m saying that because Chris Rock is saying that in a Celebrity MySpace blog post entitled “Only Black Guy Concert Review.” He lists some of the shows at which he held the distinction of being “the only black guy” — Van Halen, the White Stripes, the Cure, soon Radiohead, oddly not his “good friends” Metallica — but his phenotypic focus thereon is being the only black guy at that free Coldplay show at MSG. Like me, Chris didn’t enjoy being assaulted by Martin’s reminders that it was a free show. But Rock’s got slightly different reasons for that (hint: it’s because he’s black):
This week my assignment was to see Coldplay at Madison Square Garden. Now being the only black guy can sometimes be dangerous like the time I was the only black guy at an ACDC concert in Prague. There not use to seeing black people at all in Prague, but a black guy singing “hells bells” was just a little to much for them to take. Now I didn’t know what to expect from a Coldplay concert, but I figured I wasn’t gonna get stabbed in the middle of “yellow.” Anyway the concert was pretty good. I thought it was a perfect mix of old and new songs and I gotta say that when they did something from the new album Chris Martin was smart enough not to say the words you hate to here the most at a concert; ” This is something from our new album.” That’s like saying this is a good time to take a shit.
Anyway when they did a new song they just did it and it seemed to fit right in with the old stuff. I didn’t know the names of any of the new songs, but the white people next to me seemed to know every word. If I have any complaints I thought Chris Martin might of mentioned the fact that the concert was free a few too many times. I thought it was a little obnoxious. If you pay for dinner just pay for it, don’t say to me you like that free food. Free food is good ain’t it. Again the white people seemed happy with it, but as the only black guy there I thought he might be talking to me. My other complaint was the use of pre record music and drum machines at one point I thought they were gonna sing rhythm nation, but other than those two things I thought it was a great concert. When they went into the crowd and did a striped down version of “yellow” I thought that was the highlight of a great night. Music critics like to compare Coldplay to Radiohead and that’s not fare. Coldplay is no Radiohead and Radiohead is no Coldplay. You can understand every word to a Coldplay song the first time you hear it. Nothing wrong with that. If anything, Coldplay kind of reminds me of a British Hall and Oates. In the eighties what did a pop record song like? It sounded like Darryl Hall. And now what does a pop record sound like? It sounds like Chris Martin. Any way I don’t know when the next concert is and I don’t know where it is but don’t worry you’ll see me because I’ll be the only black guy there.
He is so much better at reviewing shows than me. I win at spelling though.