Hollywood always manages to surprise you. Like, just when you really think no, OK, that is as desperate and lazy as they will get in their incessant attempts to squeeze money out of every possible non-idea in the world, they will find a non-idea you didn’t even realize was an option, and try to squeeze money out of it. For example: a corny theme restaurant. That can be a whole movie now! From Deadline:

The production companies Benderspink and Broken Road have teamed to make a rights deal with the Middle Ages-centric Medieval Times. Their aim is to take the branded dinner and tournament venue and get medieval on turning it into a feature film property.

Oh brother. If only we could harness Hollywood’s panic-driven hunger for money into an actual energy source, we could power Stark Tower or whatever. Batman’s thing? Why are all the movies about energy sources these days? NEVERMIND THAT IS A WHOLE OTHER BLOG POST. Anyway, now that the flood-gates are open, it is time to think of what other stupid restaurants could be a whole dumb movie. Here are some suggestions:

Applebee’s: The local high school football team goes out for onion sticks and cheddar bombs after losing the big game. They are so discouraged that they don’t even notice that their entire town has been invaded by body-snatchers. Now it is up to them to save the whole world.

Olive Garden: Mr. and Mrs. Stevens, a struggling married couple, goes to celebrate their anniversary on a particularly busy night. When their weird, little buzzer thingy goes off letting them know their table is ready, Mrs. Stevens excitedly shows the flashing, vibrating red light buzzer thingy to her husband but it triggers his sleeper cell training and he Judo flips a waitress, steals a Ford Focus and leaves to go blow up New York. Who has she been married to the whole time? Is she the only one who can bring him back? It is up to Mrs. Stevens to save the whole world.

Hard Rock Cafe: Elton John, Billy Joel, and Eric Clapton are getting together to hold a major rock and roll benefit for world peace, but when the stadium is filled with their fans, the doors are locked behind them and a sadistic serial killer (played by Morrissey) has booby-trapped the entire place, promising that only one person out of all 83,000 will get out alive.

I know that this all started as a joke, but I would see every one of these movies. They sound great!