Cumberbatch Continues Transparent Attack On Female Hearts

Up until this point we did not think “dangerous sex monster” Benedict Cumberbatch’s attack on female hearts and reproductive organs could get any more transparent or brazen. Of course, one cannot predict an evil charm genius’s next move unless one is an evil charm genius herself, and one is certainly not, so we couldn’t help be be blindsided once again by what is possibly Cumberbatch’s boldest move yet: TALKING ABOUT HIS PENIS. From The Sun:

Benedict Cumberbatch relished his new role as a Star Trek villain because the skintight costumes made him feel like ex-Olympic hero Linford Christie.

The Sherlock Holmes star plays “psychological terrorist” John Harrison in the latest big screen instalment of the space series, Star Trek Into Darkness.

And he admitted he loved the way his clingy costume showed off his lunchbox.

He said: “The costumes look great. Some of them were very cumbersome and heavy, but some were very snug.

“You can almost see what religion I am.”

You can almost see what– oh no, what is going on? Have I gone blind?! Where am– am I on the floor? It feels like I’m sinking into the floor and… Oh no, I’ve possibly reached the center of the Earth? I can’t remember anything before getting here, it is as if I’m starting life anew, except for one thought bouncing against the walls in my empty brain– “See Star Treck Into Darkness, but don’t look below Benedict Cumberbatch’s waist because you do not want to be weird and crude, except maybe do it for just one second, just to check if the costumes are actually particularly snug, or maybe just…” and then the memory floats away. What does it mean? Am I dead? Are you dead? WHERE ARE WE?