Saturday Night Live: Jeremy Renner And Maroon 5

Aw, jeeze. Well. That wasn’t very good! The opening monosong isn’t available online but, for those of you who saw it on Saturday, it certainly went a bit over-the-top (sometimes unintentionally) with recognizing Jeremy Renner’s lack of comedic skill. (For those of you who did not see it on Saturday, it was composed of Jeremy Renner singing a few songs about different movies he’s starred in, all beginning with a false start when his piano was not mic’ed — leading him to a bit too-earnestly admit that he didn’t know why he agreed to do any of this.) (His singing voice was good!) (He was charming!) (ANOTHER SONG MONOLOGUE, I HOPE THEY NEVER END!) The rest of the episode was spent watching Jeremy Renner will give it a good shot and generally miss, but, in keeping with the sports metaphor, it rarely mattered how well he shot because the game…was…n’t good? No one was getting their shots into wherever they intended them, because the sports manager forgot to put out all the goals and the other team is already home eating ice cream. Makes sense? The sketches were just not very good! For example, upon seeing the intro to another The Californians, my friend and I both screamed “NOOOO!” at the television and then, as it turns out, that reaction wasn’t even harsh enough. Fred Armisen giggled his way through, which is often charming and something I even enjoy, but when the sketch is so otherwise unenjoyable (which is was) it’s hard not thinking, like, “Well, I’m glad THEY’RE enjoying it.” And then you feel lame for thinking such a lame thought. “What are you even laughing at?” There are two sketches available online that were cut from the show, this Thanksgiving-themed sketch and, more importantly, this Guy Fieri “Weekend Update” appearance — “more importantly” because I think, if you’re a person who tries to predict what is going to be on SNL, that is probably something that you would’ve predicted. CONGRATS! You were only half wrong! Now let’s talk about some sketches!

Aside from the fact that it made me feel gross and terrible, as the whole Petraeus scandal has, like some gross-terrible peeping schadenfreude Tom, I think the Booknotes cold open was well done. To say the cold open went on a bit too long for a sketch with one joke would be like saying, I don’t know, the sun got too bright when I flew to the sun and stuck my eyeballs in it, but at least the one joke was well done and well performed. I approve of this cold open.

The second Petraeus-based sketch of the night, the Situation Room, was ooooook. Jeremy Renner was I think good in it? Either he was good or he was oddly terrible but in a way that worked. Either way!

The third Petraeus-based sketch, Weekend Update’s “Winners/Losers,” started off a bit shaky but eventually found its ground and was enjoyable. Which Petraeus-based bit was the best, do you think? YOU BE THE JUDGE! I DON’T KNOW! (Also Chris Christie had his own Weekend Update segment which was charming enough.)

The Avengers sketch should’ve been limited to a 4 second TGS flashback on 30 Rock.

This week’s kind of digital short, “The Stand Off,” was cute enough. Very, very long. It probably should’ve been half as long as it was. But.

What was Bill Hader doing in the “Coroner” sketch? Why was everyone acting up tonight? You’re all grounded. Everyone is grounded. We are also grounded, let’s go to bed.

The premise behind the tourism ad was a good one and it had a bunch of good lines. It never seemed to hit very well, for me at least, but one can at least appreciate the premise and the fact that it is ALMOST THANKSGIVINGGGGG!

I pretty much loved the drones cartoon. More cartoons! MORE CARTOONS!

And, finally, Maroon 5 performed and were so, so bad. I’m sure they are all probably very nice people, and I am just so proud of them!, they’re really doing it!, but I do not understand why, with all of their money and fame, they can’t have their songwriters write better songs for them. Also they all wore the same outfits for some reason. You can go find their clips yourselves if you want to! I wouldn’t recommend it!