Do you ever get the feeling that your life, and life in general, is too calm and safe? Do you wake up every morning and think, “If only I had one thing that kept me up a little too long last night and left me waking up with a headache from grinding my teeth, exhausted from tossing and turning through dreams where I try to punch people but for some reason the punch never lands.” “If only there were something in my life — I don’t know, I know this is kind of a stretch, but something like a big absolutely horrifying facehugger from Alien that I could put on my face, totally willingly, like, no one would be forcing me to do it at all, I would just BUY THE THING and PUT IT ON MY OWN FACE for NO REASON, and then also, if it doesn’t put anyone out, smoke pot out of? You know? If only there were that. I would buy it and put pot in it and put it right on my face and then smoke the pot and then get high. Also I hope that there’s blood on the mannequin.” – You. You’re always saying that, and now your dream has come truuuuee! CAPTION YOUR DREAM!
Full-size horrible Alien bong after the jump. Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. (Image via BuzzFeed.)