The Videogum Why Don’t You Caption It? Contest: Faked Death Public Marriage Proposal

Although there is no video evidence yet of the incredible public marriage proposal you’ll soon learn about, it seems like our currently flawless (I’m sure) record of covering every single one that ever happens would be ruined if we didn’t mention it, because OH MY GOODNESS. Read this. From The Sun:

Oddball Alexey Bykov hired a movie director, stuntmen, make-up artists, and even a script writer to stage the bogus motor smash. The 30-year-old then planned for girlfriend Irena Kolokov to meet him at the crash site so she would be convinced he was dead. …

“Then when I saw Alexey covered in blood lying in the road, a paramedic told me he was dead and I just broke down in tears.” But then “dead” Alexey climbed to his feet and proposed to Irena – still covered in fake blood.

Luckily for Alexey, she saw the joke, said yes – and the couple were married last week.

Alexey, from Omsk, Russia, said: “I wanted her to realise how empty her life would be without me and how life would have no meaning without me.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Luckily there is photographic evidence of this very sweet and definitely not horrifying and terrible and scary and oh-my-goodness-grrrrrrrrrl-get-out-of-there proposal, and it is just DYING (hahaha) to be captioned. Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monster’s Ball, and the ability to say “no” to any nightmare proposal from a crazy person they want. (Photo via Gawker.)