Uh-Oh, Is Tom Cruise Trying To Scientology Recruit Russell Brand?!

Big news for all you Brandamaniacs out there: THE BRAIN OF YOUR FAVORITE ACTOR AND COMEDIAN WITH LONG GROSS HAIR AND AN UPSETTING DEMEANOR MIGHT BE IN DANGER! Tom Cruise, fresh from losing his last alleged Scientology convert, is now seeking out (according to an LA spy) (AN LA SPY!) Russell Brand to help get The Message out and also to be best friends for thousands of years. Oh no oh no oh no oh no! From Celebitchy:

Tom Cruise is hoping to introduce comic Russell Brand to Scientology.

Newly separated Cruise is keen to recruit his Rock Of Ages co-star to be a spokesman for Scientology rehab project Narconon.

“Tom thinks Russell’s battle with alcohol and drug addiction is a way to reach out to the vulnerable,” says an LA spy.

Cruise also introduced Brand to Hollywood studio boss Sumner Redstone, who asked Russell to compere an event to help addicts.

OH NO, RUSSELL BRAND! STAY AWAY FROM NARCONON! EVEN THOUGH THE NAME IS VERY FUNNY AND IT MIGHT EVEN JUST BE WORTH IT, SEEING AS HOW FUNNY THE NAME IS! IT IS VERY CLOSE TO AN ABBREVIATED VERSION NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS, THAT IS PART OF WHAT MAKES IT SO FUNNY! We can only trust that we’ve raised Russell Brand well enough to know the difference between things he should do and things he shouldn’t do. That’s all we can do. Now let’s go to bed and trust that he’ll be in his own bed when we all wake up in the morning. Huh? Let’s do that. Goodnight!