Breaking Bad S05E02: Walt Is Very Frustrating

This whole episode was so strange! It felt very weird, right? The first scene, and then the scene with the voiceover, and then the scene with the musical montage? Three weird scenes right in a row! Sometimes I wish that instead of a recap, these Breaking Bad recaps were live chats but everyone else only got to say something when I asked them a question, and their comments were limited to enthusiastically agreeing with me. Maybe that’s what Heaven is like. Can’t wait to see! Let’s get to the jump so we can start talking about the chicken nuggets.

The episode opens in the taste-testing laboratories of Madrigal Electromotive. After a few minutes of watching the chicken nugget dip tasting a friend of mine asked, “What is going on?” And I said, “This is the place where Gus bought the things for the lab,” and felt like a Breaking Bad expert even though my explanation left a lot to be desired and also I had just been reminded of it during the “Previously On.” In this scene, we got to see a lot of nice dipping sauces and hear a lot of nice German words.

After a bit of delightful tasting, the tasting guy’s assistant comes in and whispers to him, “They’re back. Three of them this time.” And then you realize that this scene is definitely going to end with this guy killing himself because holy moly he isn’t even savoring those dipping sauces at all! Just eating them one after another like there isn’t even any sauce on them at all, as if they were PLAIN! After a bit of time he, so sweaty, walks out into the hall where you see a group of men taking down the Los Pollos sign from their wall of fast-food chain signs. You see the police in his office, looking at a picture of him and Gus Fring that hangs on the wall. He takes an emergency defibrillator kit from the wall, goes into the bathroom, and sad faces himself:

Goodbye, Mr. Schuler. At least your cold open was really great and will, I’m sure, inspire all sorts of “Franch” themed Internet Breaking Bad artwork that no one wants.

Next, we see Walt making a fake ricin cigarette while a voiceover of a conversation between him and Jesse plays. I felt a little disappointed at first with this scene, because I was thinking, “Enough.” You know? Enough with the stuff from last season. This is a new season! ENOUGH WITH THE RICIN CIGARETTE! But I changed my tune completely almost immediately, because I did like the effect of the pleading voiceover, and I do like how these scenes wrapped up that piece of the plot — at least from Jesse’s perspective. So. After planting the cigarette in Jesse’s apartment, he and Walt musical montage search for it, finding it only after the roomba slowly moves past them.

After Jesse finds the cigarette in the roomba, he slowly breaks down into tears while Walt walks around talking about needing a beer. It is wonderful, as it always is when Jesse cries on this show:

Walt comes over to awkwardly comfort him while he cries about how he almost killed him over this cigarette, saying, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Mr. White. How could I be so stupid? I’m sorry.” It is so sad and makes you hate Walt so much more, as he takes it as an opportunity to further manipulate, saying, “You and I working together, having each other’s back, it’s what saved our lives. I want you to think about that as we go forward,” ensuring that Jesse and his guilt follow him to the next stage of their dumb meth project that they don’t even need to do anymore. GET A REAL JOB, YOU JERK! EVERYONE IS IN DEBT! THIS IS AMERICA!

Then the go to talk to Mike, wonderful Mike, about joining them on their meth adventure that they don’t even need to take. When they knock on his door he had just started watching The Caine Mutiny. I know that because my uncle tweeted at me to tell me what the movie was, and also to tell me that it was some MAJOR foreshadowing. Thank you, uncle! “We’re here to talk partnership.” “There’s a market to be filled and currently no one to fill it.” “Money to be made.” Those are some things that Walt says. “I’m a jerk.” “Don’t listen to me, I’m awful.” Mike declines his offer for partnership, though, saying that he’s sorry that Jesse can’t see it, but he knows that Walt is a ticking time bomb and he does not want to be around when it goes off. Very astute! Very smart! Mike, adopt Jesse and move both of you to somewhere else and start a new life together! You’re a better father figure! I LOVE YOU! Then Walt stands up and puts his hand out for Mike to shake, and Mike doesn’t shake it for a while, but then he does. Which is I guess basically what happened in the episode anyway, not to get ahead of ourselves.

The next scene features a bunch of people from Madrigal Electromotive in a room, talking to the police about how they are going to cooperate fully, and that they expect Mr. Deadguy was the only person doing Gus stuff, but if they find out anyone else was also doing Gus stuff, well, then it will just be tough cookies for them.

Then the camera focuses on this woman in a strange way:

Hmmm, I wonder why the camera did that? Huh? I wonder why the camera focused on this lady’s worry face when we didn’t even get to hear this lady talk, huh? I WONDER WHY?

In the next scene, Hank and the other guy are talking to Hank’s boss, who is taking the fall for missing the Gus scandal, and drinking whiskey. Blah blah blah, the boss had Gus over for a BBQ once, blah blah blah they’re going to miss him, blah blah. The real thing of it comes when they talk about the motivation behind the magnet thing, and Hank says it was probably aimed to destroy Gus’s laptop, which it did. (Phew!) But ALSO he says the he sneaked a peak at it before APD took it in as evidence, and that it was encrypted and they probably couldn’t have gotten anything off of it anyway. (Which are both things that we talked about together last week.) But then the boss guy says, about Gus, “He was somebody else completely. Right in front of me. Right under my nose.” And then Hank makes this face:


In the next scene Mike is at a diner, eating a lonely meal. Yum yum yum. And then hey look who walks in, it’s the girl from the German place from before in the police thing and she’s wearing sunglasses!

She is very particular about her tea order, and then tells Mike — whom she is there to speak with — that they’ll talk to each other like this:

L.O.L. Mike comes to her booth and she gives him a list of guys who are traceable to both of them — guys that the police are going to begin going after. She basically wants him to kill all of them, and he says uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no. “My guys are solid,” he says. That turns out to be not so much true, but it’s nice that he says it! Then he pays for her hot water and tells her to drink it. What a sweetheart.

Back at Walt’s house, BREAKFAST. People on the internet all probably got the hugest boner when Walt Jr. didn’t eat all of his breakfast. “I CAN’T WAIT” they all probably said in unison. “For what?” you wonder. “THE INTERNET TOMORROW” they all probably said in unison again. Anyway though so Skyler didn’t eat any of her breakfast either, and then there was another weird scene where she was in bed, depressed, not wanting to go to work, and Walt was trying to wake her up for work, and you never saw either of their faces the whole time. Just their middles. What does it mean? Oh also, HELLO BABY!

Mike, who has been called into the police station for questioning, GULP!, runs into Chow on his way out. Chow looks absolutely insane and also very guilty. Mike tells Hank and the other guy what he “did” for Los Pollos, and they give him the runaround. You get a few little new Mike tidbits in this scene, like he used to be a cop in Philadelphia, but was fired after something something. SOMETHING WHAT?! Who knows. Can’t wait to find out. Then he does this, and says “forgot your handcuffs?”

“I’m confused. Am I under arrest here or am I not?” They tell him he can leave, and while he’s walking out the door Hank says, “I suppose we can talk about the 2 million dollars in your granddaughter’s name.” BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! He tells Hank about the money set up for his granddaughter (and all of the other men on the list) by Gus in the Cayman Islands. It’s pretty damning! Mike leaves saying, “I don’t know anything about any money. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” And then during the commercial break, the Barack Obama commercial about how Mitt Romney has millions in the Cayman Islands played, and that was a very good commercial placement and good job to everyone involved in that decision.

Walk, like an idiot, joins Saul and Jesse to talk about getting a new meth business up and running. Saul warns him that he just won the “Irish lottery” but, you know, being NOT DEAD FROM THE METH BUSINESS YET, and that he should chill out and probably not sell meth anymore. Walt tells him that he’s “forty grand in the hole,” and that that is not a reasonable place to stop. Which is such bologna. 40 grand? PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE HERE IS AT LEAST 40 GRAND IN THE HOLE. Kind of. Basically! He says some stupid stuff about scooping up the gold in the streets and then pressures Jesse into finding methylamine, which Jesse says is impossible. Ugh, Walt. He tells Saul to find a place in town where they can cook, even though that is so much more dangerous, because he doesn’t want to have to drive very far? Everything he says is stupid and I hate him.

In the next scene, we see Mike playing Hungry Hungry Hippos with his granddaughter because it is very clear that now we are supposed to love Mike and hate Walt. And it works! We do!

Chow calls him and tells him to come over to his house because the DEA took all of his money. So now he wants Mike to give him a hug about it? Who knows. Then the camera pulls out and you realize Chow wants Mike to come to his house because someone is holding a gun to his head, YIKES! DON’T DO IT MIKE! Mike does do it but Mike is too smart for everyone and ends up coming in from behind a pulling a gun on the original gun-puller and also Chow is dead:

He learns that the lady from before hired him to kill the men on the list, each for $10,000, but if he killed Mike she’d give him $30,000. And he doesn’t have any money because the DEA took it all! Mike tells him he knows, and then asks if he’s ready and then kills him. It rules.

Mike then goes to the lady’s apartment with the intention of killing her. First the lady comes in and yells at the maid for not putting her daughter to bed because she wanted to stay up and see her mom (“Who’s the adult here?”), so we HATE HER ALREADY, and then Mike grabs her into a hallway:

He brings her into her bedroom and is very close to killing her, but can’t because she has that little girl and she’s so afraid that the little girl is going to think she abandoned her and would rather her find her body and Mike doesn’t want to let the little girl find her dead mom’s body and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh CAN YOU STILL GET YOUR HANDS ON METHYLAMINE? “Maybe, why?” she says. Uhhh. How about “YES YES I CAN YES”? Or at least, “Probably, why?” MAYBE? Oh, just kill her, Mike. She obviously wants it.

BUT, Mike does not kill her. Instead he calls Walt to tell him that he’s in for their stupid meth business for no reason, and lets Walt think that he’s in because Walt’s a powerful genius. Ugh. Ugh to the whole thing of it!

In the final scene, Walt crawls in to bed with a very depressed Skyler. He tells her, while being very sexual and creepy, that it gets easier. “What you’re feeling right now, about Ted — everything. It’ll pass.” “When you’re a complete maniac, suddenly you just want to keep being worse. It’s the best. You’re going to love it.” The scene ends with him saying, “If we do what we do for good reasons, then we’ve got nothing to worry about. And there’s no better reason than family.” Which is bologna for a lot of reasons, obviously, most of all because he is clearly no longer doing anything for the benefit of his family. I don’t even know what he’s doing anything for the benefit of. Feeling powerful, I guess? Having a batman voice? “I get to talk in my batman voice way more now that I cook meth. There’s no better reason.” Who knows. Can’t wait for next week! This was a great episode! I hope we see the baby again soon!