Headline Of The Day: “Angelina Jolie’s Dad Defends Brad Pitt’s Mom”

Is it just me, or does this sound like the set up to one of the best romantic comedies of the year. Let’s get these two wacky kids together! After the whole Tom and Katie thing, I’ve been feeling very unsure if real love is even possible in this world, but a marriage between Jon Voight and Jane Pitt might do just the trick. We need something to believe in! Anyway, we haven’t really been following the Jane PItt story that closely, but I guess she wrote a letter to Missouri’s Springfield News-Leader denouncing Barack Obama for supporting gay marriage and “the killing of unborn babies” and telling people to vote for Mitt Romney. You know, basically all the things you’d expect to read in a letter sent to Missouri’s Springfield News-Leader. So some bloggers got mad or something? I’m not entirely sure who is mad about it. Did someone not realize that there are literally millions of people in America who feel this way? Or are they just mad because it tarnishes their fantasy of banging Brad Pitt in a refugee camp near the compost pile? Because somehow in your fantasy his mom is going to be there and you’d rather she share your political views? Fair enough. Whatever gets you wet, man. (Gross. What is it, 9AM? Get a grip, everyone, me.) I don’t know who is mad about it, but I do know who isn’t mad about it: ANGELINA JOLIE’S DAD. From the Hollywood Reporter:

Academy Award-winner Voight, is more than just Angelina Jolie’s dad, he’s also one of Hollywood’s most reliable conservative voices. On Tuesday, he flatly told Fox News that he agrees with Jane Pitt’s views. “Good for her” for expressing them, Voight said.

Haha. That’s it? Powerful endorsement. That ought to cool down the Twitter boards. I still want to see these two get married. Can you imagine? It would be like America’s version of the Royal Wedding. People would def get up at five in the morning to watch it live. Obama AND Romney would be there, putting aside politics for one day to support the re-emergence of true love, and refusing to even talk about the campaign lest they distract from the couple’s big day, but then agreeing the day after to become running mates and to be Mr. and Mr. President forever. Meanwhile, you’re there too, masturbating by the compost pile and screaming at the war-torn children not to look at you.