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Monsters’ Ball: The Week’s Best Comments

Guys, come next Tuesday all of the mysteries of this long and glorious weekend will have been revealed. We will know our success and our failures. We will know which guilty pleasure movies we guiltily watched the second half of on cable late one night for the one thousandth time and we will know exactly which drink was one too many. We will know who had a barbecue but didn’t invite us and is now a person who we will forever associate with having had that barbecue to which we weren’t invited, and we will know which friend texted us out of the blue and made for a totally fun and unexpected hang out. But for now, it’s all potential. Who even knows! See you on Tuesday. Be ready to DISH.

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the B-Hole At The Zoo Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5 Jeb | May 23rd Score:49

OK, I read that whole goddamn thing and I still don’t know what the fuck Kelly’s having for dinner.

Posted in: A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: Anderson Cooper VS. “The Human Barbie”
#4 R2D2, Esq. | May 21st Score:50

That’s funny, I was just thinking how it would be really awesome if things went smoothly for a while and I made a fuck ton of money to boot.

Posted in: Kristen Stewart Has The World’s Shittiest Life
#3 Slick shoes! | May 22nd Score:51

“Worst. Vending machine. Ever.”

- That lion

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: B-Hole At The Zoo
#2 facetaco | May 21st Score:71

This would be more effective if it didn’t use a picture of a guy who captured and enslaved an entire race.

Posted in: That’s Your Girlfriend: This Racist
#1 king curtis | May 21st Score:74

Surprise! There’s a vase here to see you!

Posted in: Mad Men: Oh Right, Advertising

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Great job, king curtis! I still haven’t seen the most recent episode of Mad Men so I don’t know what you’re referencing, but I bet it’s great! Lots of other people think so! Also congratulations to everyone else. And, as I already said in the Friendly Chat comments, in response to Jeb’s comment, I had chicken noodle soup and soup CAN count for a dinner if it has noodles in it. Pretty sure that’s a fact. Have an especially great holiday weekend to the five of you and congratulations goodbye!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1 singing-ax | May 18th Score:-21
Yeah, as someone who could have been described as a Community fan at one point, I thought all three episodes were pretty terrible. The writing wasn’t great, and even the acting was kinda bad. 

I didn’t even watch 30 Rock, because, you know. 30 Rock.

Posted in: Thursday Night TV Open Thread: Finales!

[Assoc. Ed. Note: That’s definitely fine.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

Slick shoes! | May 22nd Score:51

“Worst. Vending machine. Ever.”
– That lion

Posted in: The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: B-Hole At The Zoo

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, Slick shoes! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice

smokey marcella | May 21st Score:36

Guys, kind of off topic, but I fell down a Videogum rabbit hole last night while procrastinating and discovered that a year ago last Friday Kelly was introduced to us.

http://videogum.com/306041/please-help-us-welcome-videogums-new-associate-editor-kelly-conaboy/top-stories/

So, I just wanted to say yay! You’ve been awesome KelCo, and to celebrate I grew you a cat.

Posted in: Saturday Night Live: Season Finale

[Assoc. Ed. Note: I didn’t realize it was my one-year GUMiversary!!!!! WHAT A YEAR! Thanks, smokey! Thanks, Gabe! Thanks everybody! I only hope this hasn’t been the worst year of your lives, and if it has I at least hope that it was not because of me!]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

summer estherson | 11:52am Score:4

Let me be the first to say AAGHGAH;WEIJ;SDDIOWEJN.

Posted in: Duh Aficionado Magazine: Twilight Is Like A Religion For Some Tweens

[Ed. Note: Sometimes you just have to be the first one to say something. Get your point out there. Stand by it. Everyone else will follow.]