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Farmers Only: Finally, A Dating Website For You! (A Farmer)

Hey, Farmers. Thanks for taking the time out to chat with me. I know you must be exhausted from getting up at 3AM or whenever and then doing a crazy amount of difficult and probably gross, no offense, things while the rest of us were either sleeping peacefully in our beds or drinking at a bar, depending on our lifestyle. I appreciate it. Let me begin by asking you this — are you tired of being alone? There’s no shame in it. The desire for a partner in life is a common one, especially if it’s a partner who can eventually help you with all of those tasks you have to complete all day in order to run your farm which, I have to stress, seems like A LOT of stuff. Are you tired of online dating sites that cater mostly to people who are not farmers? Just because, in general, I’m assuming based on no evidence at all, people who sign up for dating websites are not farmers? Are all of your farm animals constantly talking to each other about how lonely you are? I understand, and I have a solution.

Those cityfolk can go right to hell, with their not farming and their dating and their websites. It’s YOUR time now! ONLY YOURS! Please find someone to help you run that farm, I think it would greatly increase your quality of life! (Thanks for the tip, topknot.)