Hey, dolphins. I noticed that you seemed to be trying to throw your water-only dolphin bodies onto land in this video from Brazil. What’s up? Everything ok over there? I know you’re going to try to brush me off, but let me tell you that it really doesn’t seem like everything’s ok. We’re all a bit worried about you, and we’re worried about you because we care about you. Don’t forget that. Best case scenario is that the lot of you were just trying to get a little bit of attention and, really, we hear you. Nobody has been talking about dolphins that much recently, and I can’t even remember the last time you starred in a movie. But please, rest assured that you’re still everyone’s favorite sea creature because you are far and away the least scary of all of them — a generally terrifying and gross bunch. Ok? And do remember that there won’t always be a group of heros on shore who are immediately VERY willing to help you get back into the water. We love ya.
In closing, I WANT TO GO TO THAT BEACH SO BAD. It looks so nice! Actually, I can see why you wanted to go to it, dolphins! Good try! (Via TheHighDefinite.)