Obama Clinches Re-Election With Omar Little Name Drop

You guys following the 2012 presidential election? Well don’t bother. It’s all sewn up. A new USA Today/Pew Research Center poll shows that 100 percent of Americans would vote for Obama if the election were held today after he was asked who his favorite character from The Wire was and he answered thusly:

“It’s got to be Omar, right? I mean, that guy is unbelievable,” Obama said. “I mean, what a combination. And that was one of the best shows of all-time.”

BOOM! All the swing states were like “Swing whats? Obama TAKIN’ BACK THEM TOWERS!” Obviously, saying that Omar is your favorite Wire character is not enough of a political platform to hold onto the White House, especially in this fractured nation where “Cutty,” “Marlo,” “Snoop,” and “Stringer Bell” are all important to voters. But this important development came just days after Republican front-runner Mitt Romney said he’d “always been partial to Carcetti. He just seems white I MEAN AMERICA.” Give it a rest, Romney. In related news, it has just been reported that Barack Obama has appointed me to his Cabinet of People Barack Obama Is Jealous Of. (Via Vulture.)