DogTV Is A Real Cable Network FOR DOGS

“When you first start to watch DogTV, you may notice that it’s a little bit different. It is! It’s not designed for people. It’s designed for dogs.” A NEW BREED OF TELEVISION, INDEED!

DogTV, everybody. A real thing. America. 2012. Rise of the Planet of the Dogs. Love it. This is a pretty important FAQ from the DogTV website:

Should I watch DOGTV with my dog or leave him alone?
DOGTV was designed for dogs who have to stay home alone. While there is no need for you to watch DOGTV with your dog—unless this is his first time—you are more than welcome to watch DOGTV together! We’re sure you’ll have a great time.

Hahah, uh, you’re both wrong. The answer is do whatever you want it is a dog! You have to watch DogTV with your dog the first time? Why? So it doesn’t get confused as to why you’re not watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion Part 2 Hosted by Andy Cohen? Wait! If your dog watched DogTV alone the first time, will your dog accidentally ENTER THE TV? Last Action Dog style? Yikes. I take it back. You should be there. My only remaining question is can I get rid of all my cable channels EXCEPT DogTV? Please advise, doctor. (Via BlameItOnTheVoices.)