This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys

How excited is everyone for SUPER BOWL SUNDAY? Very excited? “I just watch it for the commercials.” Just kidding. Why would you do that? You can see all of the commercials on the Internet the next day. I watch it because that’s what my friends are doing, and I love their company. Also I enjoy picking a team at random and rooting for them. It actually gets kind of intense. It’s actually kind of a nightmare once I get going. That’s the reason I don’t watch sports most of the year: I don’t want to HURT anyone who gets in the way of MY TEAM. I’m sure that’s the real reason. Anyway, lots of big movie trailers premiering during the Super Bowl, but for now, let’s watch these other movie trailers:

Red Lights

This looks very spooky! DO YOU THINK HE’S A REAL PSYCHIC?! Haha. Just kidding. I mean, I don’t know! Maybe he is? I bet it turns out that he isn’t, though. Because of how psychics don’t exist.

Game Change

Game Change is supposed to be a really interesting book, although I haven’t read it. I’m sure it’s filled with lots of crazy power-grab stories that we civilians can’t even imagine. But while this movie is filled with lots of good actors and I do like political movies and stuff, there’s something about watching a condensed movie version of the 2008 election only four years later that feels like a real waste of time. WHO DO YOU THINK BECOMES PRESIDENT?! NO SPOILERS!

Get the Gringo

Wait, why does George Clooney do the voice over for this trailer if it stars Mel Gibson? Hey, remember when Mel Gibson threatened to kill that one woman and also denies the Holocaust? #FUN

The Cold Light of Day

My favorite part of this trailer is when Bruce Willis tells the guy that he’s in the CIA and the guy asks him why he never told him that before. Uh, have you ever seen a single movie before? That’s, like, the CIA’s whole thing.

God Bless America

This movie was directed by Bobcat Goldthwaite and it is a “dark comedy.” I could not make it through the trailer, so I will not be seeing the movie. I don’t like when murder and violence is turned into a weird joke. “But Gabe, don’t you like action and adventure movies in which violence and murder are treated as spectacles.” Yes I do, and maybe you have caught me on some kind of moral-point that I need to examine further. I just know that I’m not watching this.