Everyone Continue To Not Go Bungee Jumping, Thanks

I’m a subscriber to the general belief that you should try anything once, but that’s when you’re talking about trying a weird food, or traveling to a neat place, not JUMPING OFF OF BRIDGES WITH A RUBBER BAND ON YOUR FOOT. You nuts? Don’t be nuts! Listen, guys, life is precious, and God, and the bible. You know what I mean? Like, not only is it a statistical miracle that any of us even exists in the first place, but on top of that, we all live in America (and OK, maybe some of you live in Australia or western Europe or something, but that’s basically America) and have our health and clean drinking water and basic cable. And you’re going to what? Get out of here. What’s the matter with you? So while this video of a woman’s bungee cord SNAPPING and the woman falling 9 miles into the river is HORRIFYING and obviously we all hope she is doing OK, it’s also an important REMINDER to continue to NOT DO THAT.

The young woman apparently had to SWIM THROUGH ALLIGATOR INFESTED WATERS but did make it to shore and is OK, but that doesn’t change anything. Stop it. Quit it. No more of this, Dans Cortese. (Via DailyWhat.)