Saturday Night Live: Charles Barkley And Kelly Clarkson

Oh boy. This was Charles Barkley’s third time hosting Saturday Night Live, and — oh boy. When he hosted in 2010, although he did seem like a “borderline-illiterate Shrek” whose blatant struggle to participate in even the smallest way seemed almost mean because it was like…Why are they making him do this?!, at least then he was kind of put in the background a lot of the time. It’s easier to laugh at Charles Barkley not being able to read cue cards, let alone read them with any kind of indication that he knows what the words mean, when the entire premise of the sketch is not based on Charles Barkley knowing how to read and understand the cue cards. But this time SO MANY OF THE SKETCHES WERE BASED ON THAT! And I almost understand the desire to do this, since last time Charles Barkley hosted it was kind of a hit, at least on the Internet, and I have NO idea how people feel about anything outside of the Internet, but, you know, he’s still Charles Barkley. Just because it was funny and novel when he couldn’t play a supporting role in a sketch doesn’t really mean it’s going to be funny when he’s back and can’t play the LEAD role in a sketch. Especially when his the whole role is standing and looking into a camera and reading cue cards like in the “White People Problems” sketch! What are you thinking! Unfortunately, even outside of the Charles Barkley Problem, the episode was not great. The cold open was honestly one of the most boring things I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Not even just on SNL, just ever in my life. Were there even any jokes in it? I couldn’t even force my ears and brain to make out what the words meant because that’s how bored my ears and brain were, totally uncooperative, but I’m pretty sure it was just Andy Samberg standing up in a sweater reading a list of words. You’d think that if you knew you had Charles Barkley — The World’s Least Apt Host — hosting for the night, you’d try to make the first part of the show that he didn’t have to be in pretty good. (The second part of the show that he didn’t have to be in, Weekend Update, was perfect because of “Drunk Uncle” but we’ll get to that in a moment.) Just a bad episode! Which is fine enough. They certainly cannot all be winners. Soooo let’s talk about what was good about it. (Drunk Uncle.)

I don’t dislike the idea of the “Joann’s Announcement” sketch and I love any a joke is included about how tiny Paul Brittain is (haha, which I will disagree with literally in the next thing I talk about) (but in general that is true), but OH BOY. The possibly funny premise (also possibly very offensive?) was destroyed by not only an impossible Charles Barkley, but also by the rest of the cast members not really being able to react to Charles Barkley as if he were acting like a human. But. The premise wasn’t bad! Right? Helloooo?

Uh, the Wyndemere sketch. The first time they did the Wyndemere sketch it was wonderful and I loved it so much. But this time…they pretty much just did all the same jokes as the first time? You know? Like if you’re just going to yell “GET HIM SOME SWEETS!” at Andy Samberg and chase Paul Brittain around so he can tell you a secret like you already did, maybe DON’T DO IT? Haha, not to be super upset about it. I’m sorry about the all-caps. I’m not yelling. But definitely probably don’t do it. Great the first time though!

Even though it was a sports thing and who cares, “The NBA On TNT” sketch was maybe one of my favorites of the night. It was a train wreck like the rest of them, sure, but it seemed kind of fun! And I think they did a smart thing with Charles Barkley? Making it so he had to act the way he was already acting in every sketch? Like a weird nothing who didn’t know how to say words? That’s how he was supposed to be acting, right?

Nicholas Fehn was great, doy. Thank goodness for Weekend Update.

DRUNK UNCLE! Ugh. I watched this twice and I LOL’d the whole time both times. The things he could buy for five dollars is absolutely the best. (Also, “The things he could buy for five dollars is absolutely the best.” is absolutely the thing a dumb person says.) Love you, Drunk Uncle! You are so good!

So, there you have it. Drunk Uncle. Also Kelly Clarkson performed. I didn’t watch those parts. WAS SHE GOOD? Did she play “Since You Been Gone”?