For years now, mankind has dreamt of sleeping on a pillow that was shaped like a human butt, but the technology simply wasn’t there. UNTIL NOW. Introducing “Booty Pillow.” This is the most scientifically advanced pillow shaped like a butt so that you can feel like you’re sleeping on a butt. Thank you, Thomas Edison! Each Booty Pillow comes with a fake Booty Pillow g-string sewn into the Booty Pillow. That’s how you know that you’re sleeping! Finally, you will be able to get some rest, you weird piece of crap person who can’t sleep unless it’s on someone’s butt. Congratulations. Your nightmare is over. Ours, however, is just beginning.
“We should invent a pillow that looks like a butt.”
“Great idea, pass whatever we are smoking.”
Absolute nonsense. Go to bed, whoever made this. (Get it? Bed? Booty PIllows.)