What Is Going On With This Ellen Surprise Marriage Proposal?

As we all know, public marriage proposals are terrible and we all hate them and no one feels any differently about it. But if you go about as far as you can on the “most terrible” side of the public marriage proposal scale, that is where you will find televised public marriage proposals. UGH, BARF. Gross gross gross. They are always disgusting and the worst and never sweet or heartwarming like they’re supposed to be. I GET IT, you’re in love and getting married. Lots of people are! I don’t know you, you stupid stranger! So I don’t care about your particular situation! GET OFF OF THE TV! That’s what everyone thinks in their heads when they see them on TV. But, uhhhh, so, this guy proposed to his girlfriend on Ellen and it’s one of the better things I’ve seen in my life? She says no, which is obviously best case scenario when we’re talking about televised marriage proposals, but uhhhh, then Ellen rings a bell? And everything gets really weird? It’s the best. You don’t even have to just believe me about it, you can watch it yourself!

So, ok, yes, that is the best. But. First of all, I’m going to assume that it wasn’t a joke? Ellen is kind of laughing at the end as if it was a joke, but, how? And why? And what? And GOOOOOOOOD JOKE! So, based on that reasoning, I don’t think it’s a joke. Second of all, that guy — what a doofus. Third of all, aww. Poor guy. Fourth of all, do you think the woman has been cheating on him for a while? That’s what I think. Fifth of all, THE BELL? I’m sure there is a explanation for the bell that I would know if I watched Ellen, but I am more than happy to not know what it is. Finally, hahahahahahahaha. The audience! From watching this guy’s life dissolve right in front of their eyes, STRAIGHT to on their feet cheering. Perfect. Great job, Ellen show audience. I love you. Will you marry me? (Via BuzzFeed.)