Mad Men’s fifth season is almost here, thank goodness, after a wait that has felt like DECADES. Actually I’m lying about what it felt like because I’ve only recently gotten caught up on the last season of Mad Men, so it hasn’t really felt very long to me. And you know, even THAT was a lie because I still have two episodes left. I just cannot stop lying! I’m a real MAN, right? Like from the show? Just a bunch of terrible liars. Anyway, please, let’s get on with it! Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner recently talked with Grantland about the fifth season, and about how he sees the show eventually ending. Oh perfect, FINALLY we get some answers! About the ending of a show! That will happen in a few years! And if you’re thinking, “Hey, there’s no way he’s actually just going to straight-up tell them how he plans for the show to end because who would ever want to know about how a show they really like is going to end, this is probably safe to read,” well, STOP THINKING THAT! He straight-up tells them, pretty much! Here is a non-spoiler version, from Grantland:
When asked if he had an end point in mind for Mad Men’s seventh and final season, Weiner answered in the affirmative: “I do know how the whole show ends,” he told us. “It came to me in the middle of last season. I always felt like it would be the experience of human life. And human life has a destination. It doesn’t mean Don’s gonna die. What I’m looking for, and how I hope to end the show, is like …
AHHHH, STOP! I can’t believe you were just going to tell us like that! I can’t believe you DID just tell us in the article that we all would have seen it if I hadn’t stopped copying-and-pasting when I did!!! Matthew! So for those of you who are itching to get a peak at the ending of Mad Men, you should have at it. For the rest of us, would you like to discuss some ways that Mad Men is definitely NOT going to end? Just to get this horrible spoiler taste out of our mouths? Great, me too!
- Don Draper is not going to quit the advertising business because he realized that, although it isn’t NEARLY fully to blame, his place in it only egged on his poor lifestyle choices. Then he is definitely not going to move somewhere quiet and start his own, I don’t know, garbage man business.
- All the men will not get pregnant.
- The camera will not zoom out, revealing that Mad Men was just a television show for THE CAST OF MAD MEN TO WATCH! The whole time!
- Peggy will not decide that she’s had enough of this career woman life, quit, and ask Don Draper to marry her. And then he won’t say yes, and they won’t live happily ever after.
- Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce will not downgrade their whole operation to a design photo blog.
Oh thank goodness, definitely not those! Those are some very safe and more importantly GOOD guesses, but they are definitely not how Mad Men is going to end. How else isn’t it going to end? Guys? Are you all reading the spoiler?!