“Winter Is Coming,” right? You just cannot go anywhere these days without hearing that age-old maxim, “Winter Is Coming.” Just a classic. So true. Anyway, yes, winter is coming, which is obviously a complete disaster. Chapped lips, runny noses, coats that aren’t even warm enough at all, endless darkness, no reason to wake up in the morning so you just stay in bed and hope if you keep your eyes closed tight enough the entire world will just disappear and leave you alone forever — GROSS! Just a real nightmare. Luckily there are a few bright spots in the season, like something, something else, and then scarves! Ooooh, scarves! Fashionable AND functional, but soooo boring. How many ways can you think of to tie a scarf, for instance? One? One and then you’re wondering if tying it into a noose counts as a second option? Well, I will allow tying it into a noose to count as a second option, but you really shouldn’t be so down in the dumps about all of this. I know we had some fun before, talking about how big of a terrible endless nightmare wintertime is, but there are some good things about it! Like scarves. Did we already talk about how scarves are one of the good things? We did? Eeeeeshh, well. Did we talk about how there are about a million different ways to tie a scarf, and there’s a video after the jump that shows you how to do all of them, even though it misses a few key ones that I will explain after the video? No? Well, great!
A very impressive and very pretty tutorial but, like I said, it DID miss a few key looks. Allow me to explain:
- The Full-On Mummyface: Get two scarves and tie them together. Have a friend help you wrap them tightly around your face, tighter, tighter, until you reach your hair. Have your friend tie the scarves into your hair.
- The Sticky-Uppy: Get a lot of glue. Wrap a long scarf around your neck, leaving lots of excess scarf on one side. Put a lot of glue on that side of the scarf and hold it up in the air until the glue dries. Does the scarf stick up in the air? If the scarf doesn’t stick up in the air, get some more glue and some popsicle sticks or whatever you can find. Glue those to the scarf. Does it stick up in the air now? If not, jesus christ. I don’t know then, just figure it out.
- The Belty-Tie: Tuck a scarf into the front of your pants, then bring the scarf up to your neck and tuck it into the front of your shirt. Looking good, lady!
- The No-Scarf: Wrap your scarf around your body, under your clothes. Tell your friends that you can’t wait for them to see the new way you learned how to wear your scarf. When you show up and one of them says, “Hey, I thought you were going to be showing us the new way you learned how to wear your scarf?” you say, “Oh, yeah. It’s under my clothes.”
- The Tongue: Roll your scarf up into a ball and put it in your mouth.
Yay scarves! Winter is coming!!! (Via ViralViral.)