This Week In Movie Trailers, You Guys

MOVIES! MOVIES! MOVIES! Whole bunch of trailers this week, friends. Pretty good ones, too! Got a couple of comedies in here. Some creepy stuff. Couple foreign movies for my art heads. An Underworld trailer (haha, snore, what? It’s 2011, enough with the Underworld already). OK, so forget Underworld. You’ll find something to your liking, I think. What a mix! MOVIE MIX! MOVIE MIX! MOVIE MIX!


Paul Rudd! Jennifer Aniston! The dude from Party Down and Children’s Hospital! You know his name! It’s Ken Marino, silly! Horses! Vague tones of The Wicker Man! Directed by David Wain! This looks pretty good, is the point.

Safe House

If we are seriously supposed to believe that our nation’s security lies in the hands of Ryan Reynolds, then God help us all. KING KONG AIN’T GOT SHIT ON THE TRAIN FROM UNSTOPPABLE!

Underworld: Awakening

At this point you are either on board or you are not on board, and either one is perfectly reasonable. Figure it out. I have nothing more to say.

21 Jump Street

I don’t know about action comedies, you guys. They never seem to be funny nor action-packed enough. I’m also terrified of skinny Jonah Hill but that’s another story entirely. Or maybe it’s the whole story, actually. Skinny Jonah Hill just does not seem as compelling to watch as fat Jonah Hill, and I apologize to Jonah Hill for this reality because I’m sure that’s not a fun thing to hear (and he is definitely going to hear this from me). I do like Channing Tatum branching out into comedic roles because let’s be honest, a ham sandwich has more gravitas. At least the guy can laugh at himself, or at the very least, accept millions of dollars in return for people laughing at him. Also Dave Franco. And the premise is very solid, obviously. (Who cares about the reboot part of it, that shit is dead. Ain’t no nostalgia in this shit here. But the premise without the herstory behind it is still very funny.) I don’t know. I don’t know yet!

Project X

I already saw this movie. It was called the Smashing Pumpkins “1979” music video.

Full American Reunion

This is the second trailer for this movie, and it still looks like a total fucking bummer.

We Need to Talk About Kevin

At this point, I will basically turn off any trailer that has John C. Reilly in it because I’m already so on board with whatever it is that I’m definitely going to see it. That guy is so great. But also Lynn Ramsay and this movie looks so creepy and good. This is the second trailer and it’s not that different from the first trailer and how many trailers do we need these days it seems like we apparently need “too many,” but so yes. Let’s go.

The Innkeepers

I don’t like horror movies, personally, but even if I did, I think I would still have a problem with horror movies that begin under such a false premise. “We have to find evidence of this ghost before the building is torn down.” No you don’t. You absolutely don’t? You can if you want, but you don’t HAVE TO. I also love “don’t go in the basement” followed by half the movie takes place in the basement. OK, well then no sympathy for these dumb slabs of ghost food.


This is the American trailer, which is a ridiculous distinction. Like, this is still vague and more evocative than anything, which is exactly how the International trailer was? I wonder how that math is worked out. Was there, like, an Arby’s behind Michael Fassbender running? Probably. Because this movie does look DELICIOUS.