Sad News: You Have To Cancel Your Tower Heist Home Screening Party

Hey guys, remember how you were going to have that Tower Heist party where you ordered the Eddie Murphy/Ben Stiller/Etc. feature Tower Heist on demand for $60 and charged twelve of your friends $5 each, because you like having people over but you’re not MADE of money, plus they’re saving money that way anyway since $5 is less than they’d be spending at the theater, and on that note you’ll also put out some snacks but if anyone wants anything specific they should bring it and also it’s BYOB? Well, get ready to make some disappointing calls. From The Hollywood Reporter:

“Universal Pictures today announced that in response to a request from theater owners, it has decided to delay its planned premium home video on demand (PVOD) experiment in which Comcast digital subscribers in Portland and Atlanta would have had the opportunity to rent Tower Heist on demand just three weeks after its theatrical release on November 4, 2011.

Nooooooooooooo!! “More like FRAUGHT-lanta!” -Hotlanta. “Put a BOOOOOOO’d on it.” – Portland. Unfortunately due to threats from theater chains like Cinemark, all of the incredibly expensive fun is cancelled. But luckily there are still lots of ways you and your friends can spend $60, like:

  • Buying six copies of Night at the Museum on Blu-Ray and then pairing off to watch them/make out?
  • Getting 60 one dollar bills and hiding them around the house like an Easter egg hunt?
  • Buying three copies of Beverly Hills Cop on Blu-Ray and giving them away to the three who can do the best Eddie Murphy impression?
  • Oooh, $60 worth of penny candy? Penny candy party?
  • $60 worth of McDonalds?

Listen, I DON’T KNOW. I thought I could come up with anything better than spending $60 to watch Tower Heist at home but it turns out I can’t. I’m not a genius NOR a magician. So I guess my best advice is to rent out a movie theater to watch Tower Heist in by yourself. Done, problem solved, goodnight.