Hey, Kanye West, You’re Occupying Wall Street Wrong!

Yesterday afternoon, Kanye West FINALLY took a trip down to the Occupy Wall Street protest. Haha, wait, what? I’m sure you could just feel the energy coursing through the crowds. “This is it, guys,” people would whisper to each other. “This is what it’s all about!” Nothing suggests that your protest movement is impotent and ineffectual like a celebrity casually wandering through it after a champagne lunch at the St. Regis, or whatever. (The lobster salad is delicious!) Kanye West would have made it down sooner, but he was in his shoes apartment (a luxury penthouse apartment that he maintains simply to store his many shoes) trying to decide which shoes to wear. This story was reported on many blogs yesterday afternoon as it was happening (also known as liveblogging) and I am sure I am not the first person to ask “what?” and also “why?” but I’ve yet to see a compelling answer. Even “because he was bored” would be relatively satisfying and VERY believable, but so far there are no reports on whether or not Kanye West was bored. The closest we have come to an explanation, actually, was given by Russell Simmons, who went down to Occupy Wall Street with Kanye and acted as his impromptu spokesman. Needless to say, I think these dudes are a little confused about what’s up:

Uhhhhh. So Kanye West is a Federalist Papers-carrying member of the Tea Party? I am pretty sure that Occupy Wall Street isn’t about “taking the money out of government and giving it back to the people and letting them govern themselves.” Is it?! Wait, IS that what Occupy Wall Street is about? Because I was under the impression that Occupy Wall Street was about holding multi-national corporations and the financial services industry accountable for the grossly lopsided profits they enjoy off the fruits of other people’s labor, requiring them to both contribute more to the overall maintenance of our society as well as to take responsibility for their (often amoral) business practices, which have resulted in the near economic collapse of the modern world and countless other problems. That’s kind of what I was picking up from the whole Occupy Wall Street thing, but maybe I’m the one who is confused and Kanye West (via Russell Simmons) has it right and we are just trying to TAKE BACK OUR COUNTRY. If that is the case, might I suggest we move this protest to Washington DC? And give Michele Bachmann and/or Grover Norquist the bullhorn? They would love to use it. (Video via GotchaMedia.)