Hey, Let’s Pool Our Money And Buy Qwikster

Remember four seconds ago when Netflix raised its prices and everyone’s heads fell off as if somehow we had magically been transported to a world in which company’s providing convenient services didn’t raise their prices on a regular basis? And then remember two seconds ago when in response to all the heads rolling through the streets, Netflix announced that it would be separating its DVD mail-subscription service from its on-line streaming service by splitting into two companies with two separate websites? Well, that is over now, too. Netflix! Relax, buddy! From the email they sent their customers this morning:

It is clear that for many of our members two websites would make things more difficult, so we are going to keep Netflix as one place to go for streaming and DVDs.

This means no change: one website, one account, one password…in other words, no Qwikster.

While the July price change was necessary, we are now done with price changes.

Poor guys. That’s probably a fun office to work in this summer, right? Super light-hearted and fun, just a bunch of people doing what they love: scrambling for cost-saving ideas while warding off an increasingly infuriated customer base. Follow your bliss! In other words, LET’S BUY QWIKSTER! Guys, think about it. The name already has some brand recognition, right? We just pool our money, pick up the rights, and then….do something with it? Admittedly, I have not gotten that far. Like, what is our business? Doesn’t matter. It’s called striking while the iron is hot and apparently you only get one shot so you better lose your money mom’s spaghetti. You guys don’t even need to stress. Just send me all of your money and I will take care of the rest. Please email any questions or concerns you may have about this incredible business opportunity to [email protected] and start counting your profit$$$$$$!