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The 2011 Emmy Awards

Well we did it, guys. Another Emmys come and gone, and another wonderful night filled with glamour and stars and excitement and barf and yawns and surprisingly lackluster award announcements behind us. My goodness, what a terrible show that was! It’s not like you really go into the Emmys expecting to be entertained because, as it is repeated over and over here and other places, it is at best a night of celebrities congratulating each other on their achievements in the world of play-pretend interspersed with grandiose and poorly written skits, and at worst it is a night of celebrities not being able to read teleprompters or remember lists of names interspersed with grandiose and poorly written skits. But this year’s Emmy Awards was oddly terrible.

First of all, the opening sketch thing. WHAT? I don’t even understand what that was supposed to be. A house full of TV shows and something about Leonard Nimoy? Why wasn’t there anything funny in it? Wasn’t it supposed to be funny? And then the AWARDS. There were a number of good things nominated this year, and Kyle Chandler and Downton Abbey and Peter Dinklage did win, and that’s great, but then Modern Family and the Daily Show won the rest of them? Who cares! Boooooo, ZZzZzzzzzz. Also, remember when Paula Abdul was there for a second only to make a joke about how she can’t balance, which she couldn’t even deliver without sounding like a crazy person, and then that was it? And the thing with the Emmytones or WHATEVER? And then Gwyneth not being able to say anything when the teleprompter didn’t work, like it was honestly her first rodeo and she previously had never even heard of what a rodeo was? What a wreck.

Ooohh, but also, remember when Aaron Paul was in that sketch, with Creed from The Office? That was great! He’s the best. So I guess it was a great Emmy Awards after all. Congratulations can’t wait ’til next year. Here’s a full list of winners:

Actress, Drama Series: Julianna Margulies, The Good Wife

Actor, Drama Series: Kyle Chandler, Friday Night Lights

Supporting Actor, Drama Series: Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones

Supporting Actress, Drama Series: Margo Martindale, Justified

Writing, Drama Series: Jason Katims, Friday Night Lights

Directing, Drama Series: Martin Scorsese, Boardwalk Empire

Comedy Series: Modern Family

Actor, Comedy Series: Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory

Actress, Comedy Series: Melissa McCarthy, Mike & Molly

Supporting Actress, Comedy Series: Julie Bowen, Modern Family

Supporting Actor, Comedy Series: Ty Burrell, Modern Family

Writing, Comedy Series: Steven Levitan and Jeffrey Richman, Modern Family

Directing, Comedy Series: Michael Spiller, Modern Family

Miniseries or Movie: Downton Abbey

Actress, Miniseries or Movie: Kate Winslet, Mildred Pierce

Actor, Miniseries or Movie: Barry Pepper, The Kennedys

Supporting Actress, Miniseries or Movie: Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey

Supporting Actor, Miniseries or Movie: Guy Pearce, Mildred Pierce

Directing, Miniseries, Movie or Dramatic Special: Brian Percival, Downton Abbey

Writing, Miniseries, Movie or Dramatic Special: Julian Fellowes, Downton Abbey

Reality-Competition Program: The Amazing Race

Variety, Music or Comedy Series: The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Directing, Variety, Music or Comedy Series: Don Roy King, Saturday Night Live

Writing, Variety, Music or Comedy Series: The Daily Show With Jon Stewart