ABC Is Doing A Show About A ’90s Girl Band, Will It Be Good Do You Think?

Something that at least I see as a sad truth about hearing that a show is going to be coming to ABC is that there aren’t any good shows on ABC. I can’t even REMEMBER the last time there was a show on ABC that I watched. Probably Modern Family would be the example most people would counter that thought with, and Modern Family is certainly a fine show, but to be honest I feel mostly not very excited about it overall. I don’t watch it, let’s say. So hearing a show is coming to ABC generally means, TO ME, that there will be another television show on ABC and then that is the end of that thought. But this show kind of sounds like maybe something? Let’s think about this show for a second. From The Hollywood Reporter:

ABC is getting into the music business with a comedy project from Seinfeld writer Jennifer Crittenden and Scrubs scribe Gabrielle Allan. The as-yet-untitled project would revolve around a “super cool” 1990s all-girl band who, after 20 years of bad blood, tries to reunite though they’re no longer girls and no longer cool.

It goes on to say that they’ll, after reuniting, have small success with a “viral-type” video (ugh), but that it will mostly be about them touring around and going to lame venues that they wouldn’t have gone to when they were cool and not lame. Which doesn’t actually sound very good. That premise sounds ONLY like a montage. But! ’90s girl group! Comedy music show! In current times! With a Seinfeld writer and a Scrubs writer and I understand that maybe Scrubs wasn’t that great but also in its day it wasn’t THAT bad and I really feel like everyone should give it a break most of the time! WHY DON’T THEY TRY TO MAKE THIS BETTER? This is how they can make this better: 

  • No “mom jeans” jokes.
  • No jokes about spanx.
  • No terrible children who are so embarrassed.
  • Force Carrie Brownstein to be involved.
  • Absolutely no Liz Phair cameo.
  • I’m sorry but no Lauren Graham.
  • No scene where they realize they don’t really know how to play their instruments very well anymore.
  • No scene where the mom has to drop her kids off at school in the old touring van because her actual car broke down and can you believe this thing still runs?
  • No stupid band name.
  • Change it from a comedy to a drama/comedy.
  • Maybe put it on NBC instead.
  • Have the actual music remain a small part of the series, but when there is music make the music preeeeeeetty good.
  • LOTS of Kurt Cobain references.
  • Don’t make them dress stupid during performances.
  • Once Carrie Brownstein is involved try to get Fred Armisen too.
  • No one from Desperate Housewives.
  • The women shouldn’t be totally ignorant of current music.
  • No scene where a kid says “Who’s Kurt Cobain?” after the moms are making one of their MANY Kurt Cobain/Nirvana references.
  • They should talk about other girl bands/artists that actually existed in the ’90s but really there should be no cameos, not even Carrie Brownstein though definitely get her involved in some way.
  • Let me write it.

So there you have it, GABRIELLE ALLAN and JENNIFER CRITTENDEN. Basically a blue-print for a hit TV show that will probably let’s face it only last at the most one season either way so I guess who cares. Is it bedtime yet? Goodnight!