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The Most Hackneyed News Copy Ever In His Pants?

“We’ve all heard of Snakes on a Plane but what about snakes in your pants? And this was no movie.” IS THERE A NOBEL PRIZE FOR NEWS?!

“There’s a great joke in there, but this is a family show.” Uh, no, there’s not a great joke in there. There are only terrible jokes in there. And this is not “a family show,” this is the fucking NEWS. Goddamnit, news. Come on. You’re killin’ me here, news. (Via BuzzFeed.)