Duh Aficionado Magazine: Corporations Are Not People

Yuck. Corporations may be a lot of things, but one thing they are not is “people.” What an asshole for saying that to actual human beings! During an economic crisis! Oh brother. Maybe, MAYBE, you could get away with that in a stump speech to a pile of fax machines, but even then the fax machines would probably be like “BEEEEEEEP BLOOOOOP FUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUU HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.” Then again, there is nothing more genuinely human than watching beads of panic-sweat pop off of a dying dude’s forehead as an entire crowd of people screams at him and he realizes that he has made a terrible mistake. Poor little guy. Poor little awful, over-tanned, self-satisfied, completely out of touch millionaire piece of shit guy. (Via GotchaMedia.)