Sometime last week, it was announced that Fabio was the new Old Spice Guy and then a few days after that Isaah Mustafa returned with some Old Spice Guy YouTube Video Duel Challenge, or whatever. There are actually like a million videos it turns out. To be completely honest, we didn’t really follow it that closely because at the end of the day, as much as we enjoy the clever turns that marketers have had to take in order to keep us engaged with their products, because although it is all still just cynical ploys to trick people into buying things they do not need (“waterfall body gel” means what exactly?) it is still far more entertaining for those cynical ploys to be humorous and clever than for those cynical ploys to be dull and annoying. Either way, they’re going to be cynical and ploys, might as well have some fun while we’re at it. But it felt like the Old Spice fun had gone on long enough. Besides, how were they ever going to top this? Also: Fabio seemed like a joke the Internet would have made 6 years ago. It was actually almost surprising, considering how forward-thinking the Old Spice campaign had been up until this. Except, uh, whoops, it turns out that the Old Spice campaign is still plenty forward thinking because they have already ended Fabio’s tenure as the Old Spice Guy with a 4-minute long absurdist short film full of self-references and Tim & Eric brand humor and it is NUTS. I’m not even sure any of this has anything to do with soap anymore. I’m pretty sure we got locked in the museum and we have to sleep here overnight and all of the showers have come to life.
Ladies, look at your face. Now back to me. Now your face. Now back to me. Sadly, your face has melted off, goodnight.