Fastest Man With A Gun Who Ever Lived

The other day I was listening to All Songs Considered on NPR (“ladies”) and one of the guys on the show said, “I wish I did anything as well as Glenn Kotche [drummer of Wilco] plays the drums.” And at first I was like, Yes. But then I was like, Well, that’s what Glenn Kotche does for a living. Of course you would want to do anything as well as what a person who is very good at what they do for a living does for a living. Right? “I wish I could do anything as well as Bill Gates makes Microsoft.” “I wish I could do anything as well as Mr. McDonalds sells McDonalds hamburgers.” You’re the worst, All Songs Considered! Just kidding! You’re fine! Move on, Kelly! So anyway what I’m saying here is: I wish I could do anything as well as Bob Munden pulls a gun out of his holster and shoots it really fast!

“Can you give a comparison to something that would come close but is not as fas–” “SPEED OF LIGHT.” (Via Reddit.)

PS: Also, “It’s a number we’re not familiar with. There’s really nothing to compare it to.”