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That’s Your Baby: Adult Baby UPDATE

I hate to blow your mind so early in the morning, let alone on a Thursday, but do you remember Stanley Thornton Jr.? The Adult Baby from two weeks ago who somehow managed to afford living his life as an Adult Baby half the time? Well it turns out he is managing to afford living his life as an Adult Baby half the time on YOUR (possibly) TAX DOLLAR! From the Washington Times:

Sen. Tom Coburn, Oklahoma Republican and the Senate’s top waste-watcher, asked the agency’s inspector general to look into 30-year-old Stanley Thornton Jr. and his roommate, Sandra Dias, who acts as his “mother,” saying it’s not clear why they are collecting Supplemental Security Income (SSI) benefits instead of working.

So does that mean that he is just a baby all the time, do you think? I don’t know why he would ever stop being a baby for a significant amount of time if he didn’t have to go to work. Anyway, though, of course this isn’t fair. Of course we would all love to live as Adult Babies collecting taxpayer-funded disability given the chance. To be honest, every time I see a baby in a stroller on a rainy day and the stroller has one of those rain covers on it I think, “Why not me.” That’s actually honest. But some of us have to not be Adult Babies collecting disability and some of us have to go to work, and SOME of us don’t think anyone should be an Adult Baby collecting disability at all:

“Given that Mr. Thornton is able to determine what is appropriate attire and actions in public, drive himself to complete errands, design and custom-make baby furniture to support a 350-pound adult and run an Internet support group, it is possible that he has been improperly collecting disability benefits for a period of time,” Mr. Coburn wrote in a letter Monday to Inspector General Patrick P. O’Carroll Jr.

Oh what, just that stuff? Sounds like normal disability collecting Adult Baby stuff to me, but who am I to judge. Really nobody. “You don’t know my life” is what Adult Baby would say to me and he would, thankfully, be correct. But also, eeesh, this:

“You wanna test how damn serious I am about leaving this world, screw with my check that pays for this apartment and food. Try it. See how serious I am. I don’t care,” the California man said. “I have no problem killing myself. Take away the last thing keeping me here, and see what happens. Next time you see me on the news, it will be me in a body bag.”

For sale: adult baby shoes, sometimes worn but never to work. (Thanks for the tip, Werttrew!)